Skill Assessment: Doers, Throughers and Spewers

In my extensive time spent around leaders and teaching leadership, I have noticed there are three distinct types of people in this world - Doers, Throughers and Spewers. Understanding which category you fall into might provide some valuable insight into improving the value of your leadership footprint. Let's take a closer look at the pros and cons of each.

Doers

These are the Type A personalities that range from the glory-seekers to the servant leaders. They are interested in getting things done. Doers see a problem, opportunity, or challenge and they take action. Some for personal gain; some for the betterment of the greater cause. Their intentions matter in some conversations, but not this one. What matters here is not why they are in the Doer category. What matters here is how they came to become a Doer and the trail they leave behind.

The upsides of the Doers are pretty self-explanatory. They get things done. They make things better (most of the time.) Doers fail a ton, but mostly because they try a ton. Being a Doer doesn't make one right or better. It simply makes them productive and contributive (yes, that is a new word.) Many of the world's greatest and smallest solutions are a result of a Doer taking action.

The cons of the Doer are a little more complicated to explain and sometimes complex to understand. Many of the downsides of a Doer's actions are a result of a Doer taking action when...

1. They didn't have all the information necessary to make a decision.
2. They didn't have the right information needed.
3. They made a decision when it wasn't their place to do so.
4. Their decision cause them to sacrifice something more important (often times a relationship).
5. It wasn't the right time to take action.
6. And the list goes on...


Throughers

The Througher is defined as someone who simply passes through situations, events, opportunities, challenges and relationships in their life without exerting any extra effort to improve or add value.

The main pro of the Througher is they don't rock the boat. They don't disrupt any preexisting leadership/decision-makers structure.

The main con of the Througher is they don't rock the boat. Sometimes the boat needs to be rocked. Sometimes all a problem or challenge needs is a Througher to stop and do something about it. A common phrase we use in many of our programs is that the problem in many organizations is not the negative vein or the poor decision makers. The problem of most broken organizations is good people who, for whatever reason, don't step up and take action. These people are the Throughers. Most Throughers are in this category because:

1. Fear.
2. They think their opinion, information or help isn't valuable.
3. They are comfortable where they are and they know (rightly) that many times if you talk about a problem or offer a solution, you will more than likely be asked to do something about it - which leads to more work.
4. They don't know how to help.
5. They don't want to find out how to help.
6. And the list goes on...


Spewers

The Spewer (as you probably guessed from the name) is the worse of the three. The Spewer is defined by their negative attitude and unfortunate tendency to spew said attitude on everyone around them. They love to gossip, chat and advertise about how bad things are.

You wouldn't think there would be any pros to the spewage (another new word) of a Spewer, but there are a few...

1. They bring attention to problems.
2. They can actually provide motivation to a Doer simply by making them mad or annoyed.
3. They validate the importance of the Doers and show Throughers a way to get involved.
4. And the list goes on...

Yes, there are quite a few negatives of a Spewer. Here is the short list...

1. They don't take any positive or constructive action.
1. Unpleasant to be around. (Yes, there is a tie for first place here.)
2. They actually block the creation of positive solutions by killing the motivation, spirit, and ideas of Doers and Throughers.
3. They have a tendency to make things worse by delaying or damaging the constructive action of others.
4. They highlight the negative and make the problem or challenge larger than it actually is.
5. And the list definitely goes on and on and on and on...

So, you need to decide where you live - in Doerville, Througherland or Spewer City.

Doers, keep at it. You help more than you hurt.
Throughers, find a place to help out. You are needed somewhere.
Spewers, there is a better way. Find it.

Good luck.

Skill Assessment: The Benefit of Getting Leadership Training at a Young Age

Leadership training at a young age, especially in the formidable teen years, is life-changing for many of the students we work with. The reason is because they get ingrained with positive habits that serve them so richly throughout their life - in and out of leadership positions.

I was reading an article by Bob Costa in the Wall Street Journal today about the impact Tim Russert (recently deceased NBC journalist and broadcaster) had on him and his career. Bob mentioned a conversation between Senator Pat Moynihan and a young Tim Russert after Tim told Moynihan he didn't think he had what it took to be a journalist. Tim was born in Buffalo, attended college in Ohio and was feeling overwhelmed by his Ivy League peers...

Senator Moynihan said, "Tim, don't let them intimidate you. What they know, you can learn. What you know, they'll never understand."

This is how I feel about the impact of the leadership training young students receive through student organizations, particularly the Career and Technical Student Organizations we work with (FBLA, FFA, TSA, SkillsUSA, HOSA, DECA, FCCLA and BPA).

The leadership experiences these students go through are so extensive and challenging, they literally shape and mold them into new people. They gain communication skills, time and people management strategies, positive verbal and non-verbal cues, and critical thinking skills that many of their peers may never fully understand.

If you are a student reading this, keep going to leadership conferences, pursuing leadership positions and studying leadership material. If you are a parent, business leader, or community member reading this, encourage this in the students you know.

Integrity: The Thank You Note Investment

We do an exercise in our leadership trainings where the students write a thank you letter to someone who is very important in their life. They must have their mailing address because the letters are sealed, stamped and we mail them right after the session. Students normally take a significant amount of time writing their letters - sometimes a full hour.

At a recent training, a student noted that his letter was probably the longest letter of any type he had ever written. Ever.

A) As a leadership trainer that is a pretty cool thing to hear. That he (and a ton of other students) put in that much effort into something as simple as writing a thank you letter. It reinforced my belief that our work as leadership trainers, especially in the student market, is more meaningful than just helping leaders learn how to lead their team or organization. Most of the skills and concepts we handle at leadership conferences are highly valuable life skills that, when properly applied, will enable the students to be great at whatever they do.

B) A very cool leadership lesson popped up after the students turned in their letters. It was nine at night. The students were wore out from a full day of high-energy training on how to serve their organization effectively during their term. They had just turned in their thank you letters (again, some of them took almost an hour to complete.)

I held up the pile of letters and asked the group how would you feel if I just took the pile and threw it away? They responded with, I would cry, I would be very mad at you, I would feel like I just wasted a ton of time, etc.

I asked why? Of course they said because they spent so much time and what they said and who they said it to were both very important to them.

I then asked them to remember that feeling when they are half way through their year and they are thinking about not applying or acting on the concepts and tools we spent all day talked about. Not doing something with the learning from the day is just like me throwing away the letters (which I didn't do.) However, in order to do that, you have to care about what you are doing and saying as a leader like you care about what you put in your letter. Maybe it won't be the same level of caring (our personal relationships should always be more important to us than our professional associations), but it should be the same style of caring - passionate, important, meaningful, a guiding force in your life, etc.

It was a very cool moment. Thanks to the elected student leaders of the Oregon Career and Technical Student Leadership Organizations (FFA, FBLA, DECA, SkillsUSA, HOSA, FCCLA and AOFC) for creating it.






Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:


1. When was the last time you put so much time and effort into thanking those around you who have supported you and helped you achieve your goals?


2. What are the advantages of writing thank you notes?


3. What sacrifice does a writing thank you note require?


4. Is the sacrifice worth the debt of gratitude that is paid with a thank you note?


5. If you could thank 5 people in your life for supporting you and helping you to achieve your goals, who would they be? And Why?


6. What obstacles are keeping you from writing those thank you notes?

Emotional Maturity: My 10List - Ten Reasons Why I Love My Job

In no particular order, here are ten reasons why I love running a business and being a professional speaker/leadership trainer:

Rhett's 10List

1.  I am in control of my time
2.  I am exercising my best talents
3.  I am engaged in bringing the best out of people
4.  I am serving as a torchbearer for my faith
5.  I get to travel
6.  I have set up a family-oriented business
7.  I provide opportunities for people of all ages, but particularly young people to develop their leadership potential
8.  I am constantly challenged to sharpen, shift and shape the architecture of my skills
9.  I love to get up in the morning and DO WORK
10.  I am serving others

So, what does your 10List contain? Identifying, sharing and celebrating the reasons you love your job plays a large role in your emotional maturity. 

Fostering Relationships: How People Respond to Success

The menu of responses from others to your success:

Encouragement... if I am proud

Inspiration... if I am impressed

Jealousy... if I am envious

Guilt... if I am regretful

Ego... if I am competitive

Disregard... if I am selfish

As you climb the leadership ladder, you will get different responses from different people based more on who they are and how they feel about their own success than on who you are or how they feel about your success. Remember this the next time you get an unexpected response from someone. Their response is mostly about them.

Masterful Communication: Filtering and Indexing

Fifty years ago, access to information was king. It was mostly kept in universities and libraries.

Ten years ago, the information itself was king. Access was digitally pushed/pulled into every household.

Today, the ability to filter (exposing yourself to only the information you need or desire) and the ability to index (the physical, digital and intellectual act of organizing information) share the throne.

Your leadership leverage is determined by your ability to gain clarity and then transfer that clarity to others. To get better at that, get better at filtering and indexing.

Goal Processing: Success Test

Base your success as a leader on the health of your relationships first. Everything else should fight for second based on where you are in life.

On Tour: Oklahoma City

I will be traveling and speaking solid from May 16 to May 30. During this period my posts will be about what I'm learning, what I'm saying and how I'm saying it....

May 28-29 - Oklahoma CareerTech University, Oklahoma City, OK

Just spent a powerful two days with the student elected state officers of Oklahoma CareerTech's seven student organizations: FFA, FCCLA, BPA, SkillsUSA, DECA, TSA and HOSA. Congratulations to these organizations for electing a marvelous group of officers.

Every year we lead this training called CareerTech University where we help the officers understand how to effectively lead and grow their organizations. The big lesson that continued to pop up over the past two days was this:

Your job as a state officer is important and meaningful if you think it is.

This message helped many of the officers understand how to get the most out of their year of service. Mainly because back at home they are surrounded by parents, friends, teachers, etc. that don't get how big and important their role is as state officers. In that environment, it is easy to lose focus, lose motivation and not give 100% to an opportunity that, for a good number of them, will be one of the most influential positions they will have in their entire life. Some of their organization's membership numbers reach into the tens of thousands. However, if they hold their position in high and humble regard, the motivation to work hard and serve will be internal. I am confident their week at CTU will act as a constant and pleasant reminder to help keep that fire lit.

On Tour: Alva, OK

I will be traveling and speaking solid from May 16 to May 30. During this period my posts will be about what I'm learning, what I'm saying and how I'm saying it....

May 27

How can one simple activity hold the full attention of 8th graders for 25-minutes?

We have an activity called the Amazing activity, expertly led and processed by Kelly Barnes. A blue tarp is formed into a seven square by seven square maze. A team of people must figure out how to get everyone on their team through the maze in a preset pattern without talking and without making mistakes. Every minute it takes to figure out the pattern and every mistake they make (talking, wrong steps, etc.) costs points. Their task is to not only finish, but finish with a low number of points. Every group, including our group of 8th graders in Alva, Oklahoma today, stay totally enthralled in the activity the entire time.

So, the question is why? Why do they always pay full attention? More importantly, what can trainers, teachers and speakers learn about keeping a group's attention from the Amazing activity?

1. No Talking = No Distractions

The negative side-effects of multitasking are getting more and more attention these days. The Amazing activity is a great example of how focused, determined and productive people of any age can be when distractions are limited.

2. Full Responsibility = Full attention

Everyone on the team has to try the maze. In order to know how to try the maze, you have to watch it. You have to learn from other's mistakes. So, either because I am others-driven and want to help the team, me-driven and don't want to be embarrassed or competition-driven and just want to do well, I am going to pay attention to how the other people are succeeding/failing on the maze.

3. Clear Goal = Clear Goal

The ultimate goal is totally clear to the team. Get everyone through the maze as quickly as possible and with the fewest points accumulated. Because the team goal is clear and my role in the team is clear then my personal goal is clear. This clarity leads to heightened attention because our brains avoid confusion and are attracted to concrete, visual, and simple stimuli.

4. Mystery = Interest

There is a built-in "great unknown" in the Amazing activity - what is the pattern? This very organic knowledge gap forces people to pay attention because they are naturally interested in filling the gap.

5. Clear Parameters = Clear Focus

Basic principle of human nature - we respond positively (most of the time) to clear boundaries. In a learning exercise like this, the clear parameters (the 49ish spaces the pattern exists in) provides the students a concrete space to direct their energy and attention.

On Tour - Air Travel "Opportunities"

I will be traveling and speaking solid from May 16 to May 30. During this period my posts will be about what I'm learning, what I'm saying and how I'm saying it....

May 23 - Chicago Airport

"Air travel doesn't build character, it reveals it." me

My fellow speaking associate, Kelly Barnes, was delayed out of Portland, Oregon to Denver and barely made it home late on Tuesday night. He has been leading a three-day training event in Oklahoma and had to get home before Wednesday to start. Very stressful.

My wife and daughter made it to JFK Tuesday night, but without the diaper/make-up/jewelry bag. It showed up, but not until the next morning. Very stressful.

I was supposed to be back in Oklahoma last night, but my flight was delayed into Chicago O'Hare. I spent the night in Chicago (without luggage) and still haven't made it back. Haven't been home or seen my little one year-old in a week. Very stressful.

Yet, we all took the delays and the adjustments with a smile as an opportunity to experience life. Last night when the pilot announced that the flight into Chicago wouldn't land until 11:30 pm (scheduled to land at 7:00), almost 200 people groaned, moaned and loaned their emotional well-being to American Airlines. It is remarkable how some people (and in air travel situations - most people) just don't get it. If you don't control your emotions and be the thermostat, you are at the mercy of the situation, just like the thermometer.

On Tour: May 20 - Rutgers University

I will be traveling and speaking solid from May 16 to May 30. During this period my posts will be about what I'm learning, what I'm saying and how I'm saying it....

May 20 - Rutgers University, New Brunswick, NJ

The New Jersey FFA Association showed me a great time at Hickman Hall on campus of Rutgers University! 386 members responded with laughter, excitement and intense attention during the keynote. Big thanks to National FFA Officer Tyler Tenbarge for filling in for my workshop that I missed thanks to traffic between JFK and Rutgers. Big thanks also to Dr. Matt Bellace, youth speaker and comedian, for the transportation and the "after hours" trip to Wal-Mart.

Now it is two full days of fun in the big apple with the girls. Waldorf-Astoria, Little Mermaid on Broadway, and Central Park here we come!!!

May 19 - Camp Cascade, OR

I will be traveling and speaking solid from May 16 to May 30. During this period my posts will be about what I'm learning, what I'm saying and how I'm saying it....

May 19

Phenomenal day with the 36 students leaders of the seven CTSLOs here in Oregon (Career Tech Student Leadership Organization). The three day camp is held at Camp Cascade just east of Salem at the foothills of the Cascade Mountains. So, I am flying from one of the most remote parts of the country (no cell reception and more bears/cougars/coyotes than people) to the most connected and busiest cities in the world - New York City. Good times.

The training today was about speaking skills, team goals, team standards, making the most of your year of service and saying thank you to important people. It was a great conference because the student leaders were exceptional. See you next year!

On Tour: May 18 - Pullman, WA to Camp Cascade, OR

I will be traveling and speaking solid from May 16 to May 30. During this period my posts will be about what I'm learning, what I'm saying and how I'm saying it....


May 18

I have arrived in Oregon. Here are a two quick pictures...

On Tour: May 17 - Pullman, WA

I will be traveling and speaking solid from May 16 to May 30. During this period my posts will be about what I'm learning, what I'm saying and how I'm saying it....

May 17

Key points from my 45-minute student leadership keynote last night at the Washington FFA State Convention:

Title: 3 Giant Jumps Every Great Student Leader Takes

1. Get in a relationship with your organization. Start to make a commitment by recognizing the size and depth of the organization (the FFA nationally has 500,000 members.)

2. Live for life, not just for today. Make some sacrifices and pick where you invest your time based on what will most benefit you in the long-term.

3. Risk big. Strive for achievements that will stretch you. Strive for excellence, but prepare emotionally in case you fall short.


My workshop today:

Title: How to Communicate Like a Master

1. Be confident in who you are and learn how to be the best of you when you communicate. This starts with self-awareness and seeking out opinions and input from trusted advisors.

2. Sharpen your listening skills. Get better at putting your focus on the other person when speaking one-on-one and on the audience when speaking in public.

3. Get experience communicating at multiple levels: one-on-one with strangers, public speaking, debate, constructive arguments, team brainstormings, etc. Experience it all.

Headed to Portland, Oregon tonight!

On Tour: May 16 - OKC to Pullman, Washington

I will be traveling and speaking solid from May 16 to May 30. During this period my posts will be about what I'm learning, what I'm saying and how I'm saying it....

LEARNING:

Sitting on my first of seven plane rides on this trip, I read a piece in the May 16, 2008 The Week magazine about some recent research indicating that human intelligence can be just as much a function of development as it is about genetics. I.e. - it is possible to get fundamentally smarter. You and I aren't "stuck" with the IQ we have today. We can improve it through mental training. Good thing for some of us!

This particular study showed significant gains in the participants' fluid intelligence - their ability to solve problems, use abstract reasoning and be quick on their feet. Particularly as leaders and communicators, those three tasks are critical to our effectiveness. If you are going to add anything to your life development list this week, add "find out how to improve my fluid intelligence."


SPEAKING:

I also was able to put together my flow for my 30-min. keynote tonight in Pullman to the 3,000+ attendees at the Washington FFA State Conference. While planning, I focused on including personal stories, unique ways of talking about age-old topics, bringing everything back to the client's expectations of my content and including humor, serious points and a touch of audience interaction. Should be fun.

Goal Processing: Managing Your Time

What is your task efficiency rate? We have always maintained that we are able to accomplish more than most because we get more done during the day. We maximize our time. Consider the following "time additives" to improve your efficiency:

1. Don't multitask. It tanks your productivity

2. Unplug. Turn the cell phone off. Turn off the wireless on your laptop (unless you are doing internet stuff.)

3. De-socialize. If you do have to be on the internet for something, close your Facebook notifier, turn off your email notifier, etc.

4. Retreat. Find a place where you can retreat from everything and really get important things done.

5. Leverage your gap times. Be productive between meetings, early in the morning, waiting in line, waiting in traffic, etc.

6. Hit the Pillow. Sleep is the best thing you can do to increase productivity.

7. Memorize in the morning. Your brain is most ready to commit information to long-term memory right after you wake up. This has nothing to do with whether you are a morning person or not. That is habit based. This is brain-research based.

Goal Processing: Map 'Em

"Its hard to tell just where you're at, when you're looking for something that ain't on a map."

Keith Anderson, Country Music Artist
From the song "I'll Know When I Get There"

If you want to actually accomplish them, get your goals on a map. Figure out the start, middle and end points and how to benchmark your progress. Then get to walking, running, riding, driving or flying.

Fostering Relationships: Hey Leader! Who Are You Following?

It never fails. Every time I pull up to a stop light a little closer than the car beside me, they pull up a little. They were totally content being back where they were until I pulled up a few inches and indirectly "nudged them forward."

This happened again yesterday and got me thinking: who do I have in my life nudging me forward? Have I surrounded myself with people who are smarter, quicker, and more talented than me? (My wife would say yes... and I agree.)

This leads to my second thought: have you? Every great leader has someone constantly reminding them that there is always room for improvement. Average leaders are content with being a few feet back from the line.

Great leaders maximize time, space, and energy by following people who nudge them forward (or downright push them.)

Goal Processing: The Fallacy of the New Year's Resolution

It is May 1. 122 days into 2008. Question: How are you doing on your new year's resolutions? If you are like most people, probably lousy. The reason why is because, by definition, the new year's resolution system is faulty. Most new year's resolutions are about changing behavior and you don't change behavior yearly. You change behavior daily. You just decide right now to do something or to not do something. What most new year's resolutions lack is the specific language necessary to invoke specific, daily behavior change. Of course, even with more specific language you still have to do the work to make the change.

Americans' Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

1. Spend more time with family
2. Start exercising
3. Lose weight
4. Stop smoking
5. Stop drinking
6. Enjoy life more
7. Learn something new
8. Get out of debt
9. Help others
10. Get organized

These are dreams, not goals. And certainly not "resolutions." Here is what they are missing.

1. A specific target (I will lose 10 pounds...).
2. A deadline shorter than a year (in two months...).
3. An action list (by replacing a stop to McDonalds with a stop to Subway, only eating half my meals, starting the day with a healthy breakfast, drinking more water, walking 30-minutes per day, etc...).
4. A compelling reason (because my cholesterol is 30 points too high...).
5. An accountability partner to help (and I will ask my best friend to hold me accountable to my plan).

This is also a great strategy to use with any resolution you set, new year's or otherwise.

Masterful Communication: Dance With the One That Brought Ya'

The next time you give a presentation, remember to dance with the one that brought ya'. Look for those handful of audience members who are totally with you, checked in, listening up, leaning forward, and "dancing the dance" with you.

Have a conversation with these few people. Make and maintain eye contact with them. Read and respond to their body language. These dance partners will motive, energize and inspire you.

Your new-found energy will bring along the folks who just need to be asked in the right way to dance. Most importantly, forget about the few people who won't dance because they don't like the song, don't like your style, or just don't like to dance at all.

Masterful Communication: The Official 7 Authenticity Rules

If you are a reader of this blog, but haven't been to the Authenticity Rules blog (my presentation skills blog), the following PDF file will introduce you to the rules and hopefully encourage you to check out, study and sign up for your weekly dose of Authenticity!

Right-click to download the PDF - The 7 Authenticity Rules



(get the free Acrobat Reader)

The PowerPoint Show

The images I use for my leadership PowerPoint show can be viewed and downloaded here...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23898824@N08/sets/72157604142424437/

Enjoy!

PS - The song I use is by Mat Kearney - Won't Back Down.

Skill Assessment: Scaling the Elevator

I had a great meeting yesterday with Steven Menzel, Director of the International Association of Character Cities for Character First, a character growth organization here in Oklahoma City. We chatted about a range of topics and training leaders popped up. Steve's father was a policeman, Steve is ex-military and he works for a character company. Needless to say, he had some great insights on leadership and leadership development. Here is a quote from Steve that is an interesting way to think about your influence growth journey...

"Leadership development, any skill development really, is just like walking up a down escalator. It is challenging, frustrating at times, hard work and when you stop exerting effort you immediately start going downhill." Steven Menzel, Character First

Fostering Relationships: 10 Ways to Weaken Communication

The following 10 actions weaken our ability to communicate openly and honestly with each other - particularly in a work and/or team environment. For each of the 10, there is a solution (which is really just the opposite of the weak action.)

1. Talking bad about someone not present
Stephen Covey says a great way to build trust with people is to talk up about people not present.

2. Talking about problems without offering solutions
This not only doesn't help anything, it also encourages people to avoid having meaningful conversations with you.

3. Asking for advice and not listening
If you really don't want their opinion or ideas, don't ask.

4. Not seeking clarity
The Alpha and Omega of great communication is clarity. Seek it out at all cost.

5. Telling a lie
It is amazing how simple and equally difficult this is to not do. Read this post to put some framework to why you do it.

6. Avoiding a difficult conversation
Make a commitment to your relationships and make the difficult chats happen. When done properly (measured emotion, authentic feelings, mutual respect, separation of behavior and person, etc.) the upsides greatly outweigh the downsides.

7. Criticizing in public
Encourage in public. Praise unreasonably. Only criticize if you have been asked (from a peer) or if it is part of a feedback session (if you are a supervisor/manager/etc.).

8. Talking in generalities
Like clarity, being specific and concrete in your comments strengthens your ability to communicate effectively.

9. Not meeting regularly
Inertia sets in and we lose track of time. Take time to meet (formally or informally) with your team mates, class mates, spouse, children, etc. and don't do anything but talk about how things are going.

10. Being too self-focused
No matter the communication context (one-on-one, public venue, marketing brochure, etc.), being audience-focused is vital and enabling. Think before you talk. Consider how they will recieve it. Put yourself in their shoes.

Goal Processing: Don't Believe the No U-Turn Signs

Most people you know are conditioned to follow the "No U-Turns" signs in their leadership life because they don't understand the power of this concept...

1. If you want to change a leadership outcome (i.e. - the result of your influence), you have to change.

2. If you want to change, you have to change a pattern in your life. We are creatures of habit. We are what we repeatedly do. Your leadership influence is the sum of your life patterns. Meaningful change only happens when a pattern is changed.

3. If you want to change a pattern in your life, you have to identify a faulty pattern and replace it with a good pattern.

4. If you want to swap out a faulty pattern with a good one, you have to start with deleting the bad pattern first. Then learning the new pattern second. You can't do both at the same time. You have to make a U-turn.

The Driving Metaphor

You are currently driving west, but you know you are headed the wrong way. You are supposed to be driving east. So, you have to physically stop driving west, turn around and start driving east. You can't keep driving west (continuing the old pattern) while also making progress going east (starting the new pattern.) You can't do both simultaneously. You have to ignore the signs and make a U-turn.

This same concept works in your life. You have to ignore the physical, mental, emotional and social pressures of repeating the old pattern, stop that pattern and start a new pattern.

WARNING - This is going to require some heavy-lifting. The inertia of your old ways will be strong. Your habits are greedy. They do not want you to kill them. This is why most people you know take the easy road and simply don't do the work. They take the easy road of driving west. It takes time, energy, focus and determination to stop, turn around and drive east. However, anything worth doing is difficult. Especially in the complicated world of leadership.

So, start today. Identify a change you know you need to make. Find areas in your leadership life where you aren't accomplishing the results you want or need. Find a better pattern (via personal study, leaning on a mentor, good old common sense, etc.) and make a U-turn in your life. The habit you need to change might be a communication habit, a relationship habit, a learning habit, a temper habit, etc. The possibilities are endless. You know what you need to change. Stop expecting it to change itself, take control of the wheel and turn around.

Integrity: Don't Serve It

Great line from the bottom of Seth Godin's post today...



In my favorite hotel's kitchen, there's a big sign on the way out to the dining room:


"If you're not proud of it, don't serve it."



This is true for all of us in the context of what we are called to serve everyday - a speech, a conversation, a clean floor, a taught student, a completed project, etc.







Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:


1. What is the quality of what you are “serving” everyday to those around you?

2. If you had to rate what you are “serving” on a scale of 1 to 10, what would you rate it?

3. Why is it so easy to recognize poor qualities in others, rather than in ourselves?

4. What is more important- recognizing poor qualities in others? Or in ourselves?

5. If you could upgrade one personal quality, what would it be?

6. What can you do on a daily basis to improve this quality?

Vision: How to Inspire Your Performance

Any high performer, whether in the leadership world or not, knows they reach a point where they have to make a commitment move to inspire their performance to the next level. My good friend and fellow speaker Stewart Kennedy tells the story of a rock climber who has seemingly climbed as high as he could. He has reached a point where the next hand hold is just out of reach. To go higher he has to literally let go of where he is and leap for the next hand hold.

This is a great example of the first step out of four high performers must make to inspire their personal performance - they must take a risk. It is also a metaphor for step two, which is aiming for something. I have found myself in a similar predicament as of late. I have been growing our speaking business and doing great work, but I feel like it is time to aim for something new, something more challenging, and something higher. As high performers, we have to have something to aim for. A project or idea or proposition that truly inspires us.

Step three is to leverage our relationships to get there. We all know life is a team sport. Things get done through people, not systems or emails or silos. If you are struggling to reach a higher level, start tapping people who are at or near that level already. Learn from them. Lean on them. Help them (if you can.) If the relationship is authentic, they will learn, lean and help back.

The final step is to examine where your energies are directed. Energy is one of those unique resources that is not finite like time or money. Energy comes from the weirdest and sometimes most unexpected sources. If you need to go to the next level, you will need to redirect your energies to new places and you will need to create energy from new sources. This is not easy, but it is attainable. The toughest thing about energy in the context of reaching higher is how much it takes to get there. As a high performer, you are more than likely on auto-pilot in a number of areas. This auto-pilot has to be disengaged and you must take over the wheel again.

It is exhausting, but if you are fully committed to taking the risk, if your "something" is worth the aim and if the relationships are leveraged properly, you will be creating more energy than you expend.

Be rare. Go higher. Someone in your immediate circle and an infinite number of people in new circles need you to go there. They will be inspired to do the same. And that is what Personal Leadership Insight is all about. Inspiring others through your inspiring work.

Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:

* Pick on area of your life that you feel it is time to take to the next level.

1. What does the next level look like? What are you aiming for?

2. What obstacles or challenges are keeping you from reaching that next level?

3. What is the risk that is holding you back from taking on that challenge?

4. Who is someone that can help you gain the skills/knowledge to take on that challenge? What skills/knowledge can they help you develop?

5. Why do you want to become a top performer in this area? What gets you excited?

6. How can you remind yourself of this on a daily basis?

Masterful Communication: Listen in on Listening

Today, Thursday March 13, at 1 pm Central Time, you will have the opportunity to learn more about my previous post on Listening Like a Leader via a live teleconference featuring yours truly.

The following link will take you to the Kevin Eikenberry Group's teleconference page to learn how to listen in - no charge.

http://www.remarkable-leadership.com/tss_laubach.asp

Masterful Communication: Listening Like a Leader

We can run through all the basics of listening, but I suspect you have heard them all before...

• Maintain eye contact
  
• Lean forward
  
• Mirror their body language
  
• Give response body language
  
• Don't interrupt
  
• Don't just wait to talk, but actually listen
  
• And on and on

If you want to get better at listening, you need more than the old standby suggestions. You need something more tangible, relevant, and, frankly, interesting.

So, let's look at listening not from a "how do I get the information better" stand point, but rather take a look at how you can get better at processing the information you do get.

It starts with listening like a leader. The leader behavior patterns relevant to information processing are providing value, changing things for the better, serving others, making the most of every interaction, respecting the viewpoints of others, knowing they don't know everything and being available to others. Adopting these behavior patterns will allow you to listen like a leader and process information more effectively.

1. Providing value - As you listen, look for ways to provide value to the other person. I'm not saying you need to always provide feedback or try to improve upon what they are saying (this could hurt the conversation more than help it), but by adopting this mind set you are putting your attention fully in their world.

2. Changing things for the better - There are times when your expertise is necessary and the situation is ripe for that expertise to be given. Take the initiative to listen intently, find the gaps your expert opinion can fill and fill them. If you are offering critical advice to their situation, they have no doubt you are listening.

3. Serving others - Stop what you are doing. Provide full attention to the other person. Ask questions to get them talking about things they are concerned with. All these say you are interested in them more than yourself. One person listening fully to another is a powerful example of service-mindedness. You are giving everything about you to that person at that moment in time.

4. Making the most of every interaction - Start your conversations, either with friends, peers or perfect strangers, like you were already in the middle of a conversation with them. Let your guard down and be you from the very start. It is amazing how quickly people will open up to you. Which is why most people don't do this - they don't want others to open up. They are not interested in listening like a leader - they would rather just move on with their life. My wife always points out service folks (toll booth collectors, drive-thru attendants, etc.) are always telling me their life story. The reason is because I am natural and authentic with them from the very start. And I ask questions and respond to their answer.

5. Knowing they don't know everything - This is the simplest pattern to recognize and sometimes the hardest to adopt. People who think they know everything (and you know at least two or three) are passively and actively encouraging others to not talk. They send signals that turn people away from them, intellectually and physically. They don't listen like a leader. When you get ok with knowing you don't know everything, you get ok with saying you don't understand something (giving someone else the chance to share their expertise), you end up listening more (giving someone else the chance to talk more) and you appear (because you are) more authentic, natural, imperfect, etc.

6. Being available to others - This last point taps into a leader's desire to mentor others. Being available to others doesn't mean you have to set up formal mentoring relationships. It does mean in order to listen like a leader, you have to put yourself in situations, seek out situations, encourage situations and fully commit to situations where you are providing value to someone else just by being an ear to lean on. Say yes when someone asks to bounce an idea off you. Say yes when a younger and/or less experience peer asks for a little of your time. Be available to share what you can.

Come to think of it, if you model these six behavior patterns, you won't just be listening like a leader, you will be living like a leader. Good luck.

Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:

1. What are some ways that you can provide value while listening?

2. How can you, listening like a leader benefit those around you?

3. How can it benefit you?

4. What are some of the common distractions that take our attention off of the other person?

5. How can you remind yourself to make the most of each interaction?

6. What are some meaningful ways you can show that you are available to others?

Skill Assessment: Attention Ladies - Sharpen Your Communication Skills

Click over to my speaking skills blog for a link to a phenomenal communication skills book for women.

Vision: Three Giant Jumps Every Great Student Leader Takes

Everyone knows great student leaders live life differently than the average Joe. However, not everyone knows how they do it. The three giant jumps is about a few of those differences. These are three very large leaps highly-effective student leaders make in their personal and social development that allow them to make a difference in their world and the world around them.

Before we look at the jumps, let's examine the structure.

Each jump has three elements:

1. The starting place
2. The ending place
3. The leap from one to the other.

All three are critical components of that particular leadership lesson. However, the leap itself is where the magic lives. It is rather simple to recognize the importance of each starting and ending point. How a great student leader makes each jump is the secret ingredient. The "how" is a moving target because it is different for each person, but our purpose here is to kick out into the open a few guiding dynamics for any student desiring to be a great leader.


Jump 1 - Self to Self-Aware

Our first starting place is all about authenticity and trust. Being ok with being you. Not putting a front on for people or being one person in one situation and another person in another. Mastering the "self" starting point is the foundation for trust - the core component of effective and healthy leadership. Every good student leader is comfortable in their own skin.

The ending point is being very self-aware. Recognizing your strengths and your weaknesses. Understanding your personality, behavior patterns, emotional triggers, learning style, core talents, etc. If you are going to be successful, you have to first know who "you" is.

The giant jump in the middle requires tools for examination, disciplining your attention to keep looking, asking, examining and a routine of repeating certain processes each year. This is one reason why involvement in student organizations is so beneficial. Most of these organizations host annual leadership conferences and provide other leadership development opportunities where you have the chance to learn about yourself, challenge yourself and expand your understanding of yourself.

Jump 2 - MySpace to YourSpace

Our second starting place is about the power of being a highly-specialized success agent that owns a "brand" or a MySpace. This doesn't mean you actually have to have a MySpace page, that is just the metaphor. It does mean you have spent time building a reputation that people trust, recognize and know. Every good student leader is branded with personal success.

The ending point is living in YourSpace and supercharging your agent status by being service-minded. It is amazing how many people could jump straight into a leader status just by getting this one thing right - by getting out of their own little world and put their focus on helping others.. Pretty self-explanatory. It involves thinking about how your behavior will impact those around you before you do it. Thinking about the ripples in the pond before you throw the stone, so to speak.

The giant jump in the middle takes Emotional Maturity. This one trait is so important it is one of the Ten PLI Essentials. It is challenging to master, but worth the effort. The best definition of maturity I have ever heard is "when a person thinks more of other's welfare than they do of their own."


Jump 3 - Cause to Because

Our final starting place takes us into the real world and is about how real value is created by student leaders. The cause in this case could be any project, mission, event, etc. that engages your talents, skills and experience. Every good student leader has a purpose for their leadership.

The ending point is all about understanding. Why is your cause important? What difference does it make in the world? What is your role in the cause and how do you bring value to the table?

The giant jump in the middle is an exercise in perspective and connections. Great student leaders have connected the dots between their actions and the actions of their peers and the impact those actions make in the world. They not only see the how (what do I do next as a leader), but they also see the why (what is the real change my next action will create).








Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:


1. What are you all about?

2. What about you do you need to still discover?


3. What are some of the resources available to you right now that can help you challenge and understand who you truly are?


4. We build our brand every day, what is something you can do on a daily basis to strengthen yours?


5. What is one thing you can do to help others today? This week? This month?


6. What are you passionate about? What is your cause?


7. Why is it important? What difference will it make in the world?


8. What is your role in the cause and how do you bring value?

Service-Minded: 33 Ideas for Being a Positive Influence

Following is a list of actual actions a population of students do on a regular basis to be a positive influence on the world around them. The students were anywhere from 9th graders to adult students who attended our SLAM (Serious Leaders And Movers) workshops on Tuesday at Francis Tuttle Technology Center in Oklahoma City (Rockwell Campus). SLAM meets once a month on one of the three FT campuses in Oklahoma City - Rockwell, Reno and Portland campuses.

The question is: What is on your list?

1. Working hard at my job



2. Being involved in school clubs



3. Volunteering in the community



4. Working with people with addictions



5. Having good hygiene



6. Baby-sitting my little sister



7. Working with senior citizens



8. Going the speed limit



9. Started church youth choir



10. Courteous driving



11. Holding door open for people



12. Being involved in the Special Olympics



13. Controlling emotions



14. Helping out with military troops with hugs



15. Teaching people how to dance



16. Recycle



17. Talk to shy people



18. Encouraging others



19. Having a positive attitude



20. Respect others property



21. Cleaning up after myself



22. Listening to others



23. Helping even when I don’t have to



24. Smelling the flowers



25. Being responsible



26. Giving money to homeless people



27. Not tailgating



28. Keeping some all white Nikes



29. Church group involvement



30. Not littering



31. Staying in school



32. Not smoking



33. Mentoring

Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:

1. What are three actions you do to be a positive influence on the world?

2. How do these actions positively influence those around you?

3. In what ways can you move others to positively influence the world?

Skill Assessment: The Five Seeds at the Core of DECA Chapter Engagement

This is a special post for the DECA organization. DECA is a student organization for students in high school interested in pursuing careers in marketing, entreprenuership, finance, hospitality, and marketing sales and service. I speak at their events throughout the year and this post is specifically designed to help DECA students and chapter advisors understand how to grow their DECA chapter.

At the Chapter Management Academy at National DECA’s ICDC each year my company, YourNextSpeaker, LLC, works with 300 of the best chapter leaders in the nation. The following five tactics have helped these great chapters leaders understand how to get and keep their chapter membership engaged. This is not about membership recruitment. It is about membership involvement. These strategies are built on the precept that 20 really engaged chapter members make a more effective chapter than 120 “half-way there” chapter members.

Seed 1 - Focus on the Cause, not the Condition

We begin with the understanding that you and your chapter probably have the same problem that many other chapters have – low chapter member involvement. Task number one is to correctly identify the cause of the problem. In our leadership trainings, we do an activity called Balloon Toss that clearly demonstrates the importance of this step. The object of the leadership experiment is for a team of 6-8 individuals to keep 10-15 balloons in the air and in motion at the same time. The balloons are fed to the team one at a time, the balloons can't be tied together and the team members must keep one hand behind their back the entire time. After the first round of competition is over, we discuss how to improve their chances of success during the second round. We begin this by discussing possible answers to the question, "What was the main reason you were not able to accomplish your goal?"

The leaders normally begin to list conditions, instead of causes. They say things like too many balloons, we could only use one hand, we didn't have a good plan, etc. These are true, but most of the conditions they list are unchangeable within the constraints of the activity - just like most of the conditions you are faced with in your chapter are simply facts of the system and unchangeable. If the leaders get bogged down in discussing conditions they handicap their ability to recognize a cause or to make any real improvement in their strategy for round two. The primary cause for not achieving their goal of getting all balloons in the air at once was that the balloons were out of control. Once the leaders recognized this primary cause they were better able to creatively discover the best strategy for getting all balloons in the air at once!

Your task as a chapter leader is to step back and look at where you and your chapter have your focus. Is it on unchangeable conditions or solvable causes?

Seed 2 - Leverage Your Personal Power

Chapter engagement cannot just be of interest to the chapter advisor or leadership team. It must be of interest to all chapter members. At a recent conference, one of the advisors told us about a student who isn't a positional leader in her chapter and still has played a huge role in getting members involved. She does this by…

1. Being genuinely enthusiastic about the chapter and most everything going on in her life. This pulls the students in and creates energy within the individuals and within the chapter.

2. Encouraging her peers to help the chapter in small ways. This creates obligation and an opportunity for her peers to add meaning to their life by serving the chapter.

3. She makes it "ok" to be a part of the group, which is not the opinion held by most of the school. This social connectiveness meets a huge need they have in their life that they would fill anyway somewhere else.

Seed 3 – Know the Difference Between Groups and Teams

Nothing great can happen in your chapter, especially something mission-critical like membership engagement, if your leadership “team” is really just a leadership “group.” Following these steps will turn your group into a team.

1. Teams have an identified, trusted leader that enthusiastically gains the respect of the team.

2. Teams have an identified, specific goal that everyone is working towards. This goal is team created, not leader created.

3. Teams have an identified and agreed upon system for decision making. Go to the March 24, 2007 post to learn eight solid strategies for team decision making.

4. Teams make and revisit big, unique memories. This strategy also plays a huge role in creating and sustaining engaged members. Go big or go home.

5. Teams are comprised of individuals who are able to do something they love to do to help the team.

Seed 4 - Keep Commitments

Doing what you say you will do is the engine that drives all chapter activities. It is a meaningful aspect of membership engagement because it allows for momentum to happen. It is also a small way for everyone in the chapter to make a big difference. Commit to these commitment-keeping strategies…

1. Know when to say no. Don’t say yes if you know you really don’t want to do something and/or don’t have the time to do something.

2. Stick to a list of priorities.

3. Over-promise and over-deliver.

4. Gain clarity on all time and duty expectations.

5. Apologize when necessary.

6. Remember that you aren’t what you do once. You are what you do repeatedly.

7. Respect people’s time and show up early. Early is on-time. On-time is late. Late is left!

8. You make time for the important things. You have time to shower, eat, and text message don’t you?

9. If you add a commitment, take one away. Unless you are superman or superwoman, you can’t be great at everything. DECA is important. Trim down your other “non-critical” time consumers.


Seed 5 – Be a DECA chapter Torchbearer

One of our most popular leadership keynotes/workshops for student and professional elected leaders is called Torchbearers. We actually invest full days helping leaders understand how to tap into, retain and share with others the passion they have for their organizations. Review the list below to see if you qualify as a Torchbearer for your DECA chapter...The DECA Torchbearer Seven Defining Qualities…

You are thirsty for helping your DECA chapter grow.

You own a strong allegiance to your DECA chapter.

You value and foster relationships within your DECA chapter.

You gain part of your identity from your DECA chapter (you include your DECA chapter involvement when you introduce yourself to people.)

You have a clear understanding of your role in your DECA chapter.

You know and believe in your DECA chapter’s core values.

You speak positively about your DECA chapter and its leadership and members.

Fostering Relationships: Three Ideas for Bringing the Best Out of Others

As you read this post, you might wonder, "why the forks in the pictures?" People are like forks. They can be used for good or bad based on the hands they are in. Also, I have a new keynote slide show titled "The Fork." It makes fork-related leadership points: the eating fork, the tuning fork and the fork in the road.

If you are in charge of leading others, the following list highlights three practices to maximize performance.


You need to decide whether or not your people are in the right job. Knowing this requires an intimate understanding of the person and the job responsibilities. My mother was a high-level leader in a hospital for years. A lady worked for her that was a hard worker, but consistently under-performed. Mom found out she was in the wrong position. This lady was an introvert and was working in a very social position. Once mom placed her in a more solo position, she thrived. She was able to give her best because her best was asked of her. When you have people in the wrong type of position, they are asked to engage a weakness every day. Only when people are asked to engage a strength can they perform at a high level.

You also have to make job placement about the table, not the person. It's about the position and the behaviors they demonstrate in that position. Don't make it about them personally. Talk about the duties of the job and what it takes to succeed in it. This will result in everyone being able to keep a non-personal point of view. There are enough reasons for personal squabbles in the workplace - whether someone is in the right position or not doesn't have to be one of them.


This decision is about clarity and expectations. People can naturally give their best when they know what their best should look like, feel like and move like. As a leader, you have to decide what "an amazing job" is for each individual. You then have to put language to it and get them talking about it. Get things out in the open. Keep an eye on their progress and then guide them through the gap between average and amazing. This is where high level leaders and performers live.

Once you get the gap between average and amazing identified, work with your team on getting one percent closer to amazing. Start small. Start with one skill. One process. One job. Figure that out, perfect it and then move on to another. Before you know it, you and your team will be much closer to amazing than average. Just make sure you, nor they ever feel like amazing has been reached. This can be just as dangerous as never reaching for it at all. (See my post on the dirty little secret of high performers.)


I did a post a few months ago about the difference between MySpace leaders and YourSpace leaders. To bring the best out of others, you have to care about them. You must have a genuine interest in seeing them personally and professionally succeed and then communicate this by asking questions, learning what is good with them, what is a challenge for them, etc. These interactions need to be positive in nature, even when helping them improve. Again, make it about the behavior or the job, not the person. Always coach up (here are a few suggestions on coaching strategies) and look for the good. The bad will reveal itself immediately. The positive is sometimes more elusive to find. It is your job to recognize the positive and emphasize it daily.






Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:


Decision 1

1. How can you better position others so that they can thrive?

2. What are the strength and weaknesses of the people on your team?

3. Who would benefit from a slight change in focus?

Decision 2

1. What is your image of an amazing job? Give Specific Details

2. What is one thing you can do to show them what an amazing job looks like?

3. What is the one skill that will move you 1% closer?

4. How can it be improved?

Decision 3

1. What are some steps you can do to make sure you are always coaching up?

Emotional Maturity: What Do We Really Have To Complain About?

Skill Assessment: Personality and Presentations

A few weeks ago I did a post on my Authenticity Rules blog about how your personality impacts your presentations.  If you lead workshops, trainings or give speeches, go check it out...

How Does Your Personality Impact Your Presentations?

Integrity: Inspect What You Expect

Leaders check-in on what they expect to improve. Not for keeping score or ego-boost purposes, but because improvement is at the core of what effective leaders do and they make it a priority to stay on top of things.

A few weeks ago we conducted the first of five speaking skills conferences in the month of January for members of the Oklahoma FFA Association. The great little town of Dover hosted this first training. A good friend of mine is a Dover High School administrator and he came over to say hi. I thanked him for hosting the event and for stopping by. He replied with a very leaderly statement...

"Well, I expect good things today and I always inspect what I expect."

Ask yourself this question, what are you expecting from others today and what is your system for tracking goals, actions, improvement and/or decline?

Regarding your expectations, keep them high, look for the good and remember to separate the person from the performance.

Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:

1. What are 5 aspects about your leadership skills, team, or life in general that you are expecting to improve?

2. How can you inspect these expectations?

3. Why is it important to revisit, inspect, evaluate, and adjust expectations over the course of time?

4. What does it mean to separate the “person from the performance?”

5. What can you do to ensure that you are always expecting realistic results?

6. As a leader, why is it important to inspect what you expect from others?

Emotional Maturity: Do You Set the Mood or Does the Mood Set You?

Effective leaders understand the difference between being like a thermometer and a thermostat. A thermometer goes with the flow. If things are good, they are in a good mood, have a good attitude and see the good. If things are bad, their demeanor, attitude and outlook turn bad.

A thermostat sets the temperature. No matter what is going on around them, a thermostat's internal mood is constant. Through the sheer force of their personality, their leadership methods or their attitude, they set the mood of the entire environment and everyone/everything in it.

Of course, being a thermostat can be a good thing or a bad thing. Some people's internal mood is constantly set on negative. Even in the face of loads of positive, they seek out and find that speck of negative.

Step 1: Learn how to be the thermostat, not the thermometer.

Step 2: Set your internal thermostat to positive, constructive, and encouraging.

Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:

1. What can you do on a daily basis to stay positive?

2. When was a time that you let a situation or another person negatively affect your attitude?

3. What could you have done to be a thermostat and stay positive?

4. What are the advantages of staying positive in the face of challenging situations?

Masterful Communication: The Improved Elevator Speech - OTIS Style

In the 1800's Elisha Graves Otis invented a safety device that prevented elevators from falling if the hoisting cable broke. Today Otis Elevator Company is the largest elevator company in the world. Of course what Elisha didn't invent was a safety device to prevent conversations from falling silent in elevators and during other potentially awkward moments. Nor did he invent a method for maximizing those short windows of time many of us have to communicate our ideas to a potential buyer, our resume to a future boss or our background to a new friend.

The "elevator speech" is a time to quickly communicate a message; normally 30-seconds or less. Practice the following formula for any messages you know you will be called to give in the next few days during networking opportunities, business meetings, or socializing (who you are, what your organization is all about, selling an idea, etc.)

O - Opening
First impressions are made in the first three seconds. The eight-second number we have all heard for years is actually the time it takes for someone to either confirm or deny their first thoughts. This means your first words need to be intentional, meaningful and purposeful. They should start taking the listener right where you want them to go. Not an appetizer, but the first bites of the main course.

T - Target
The words you use depends on the recipient. Even within the same context (ex. - sharing an idea about a project to your peers), the words you use will change depending on the person's position, their familiarity with you and the idea, and the purpose of that particular interaction. This may seem obvious, but we can get lazy and very self-focused in situations like this. Being target focused means you have your attention on them. Leaving a "you are more important than me" residue on a conversation is just as important as the words you say during it.

I - Intentional
This speaks to how you engage, why you engage and where you put the focus of your OTIS conversation. Most times you will have to do the initiation because people are primarily interested in talking about themselves or not talking at all. So, be bold and talk first.

Secondly, the biggest question we have when someone starts a conversation with us is "what is this person's intentions?" Answer that question quickly. Getting intentions out in the open will either grease the wheels of the conversation or shut it down quickly. But, better to not have a conversation that the other person really doesn't want to have than to waste time for both of you.

Finally, you will benefit greatly by initiating the conversation in the context of something that interests them, not you. This is easier said than done, but masterful conversationalist get things said quickly and spend most of the conversation listening and asking questions.

S - Simple
Your formula for what is in your elevator speech should be simple. Your preparation should be in bullet point format. Your words should be void of confusing terms or "industry jargon." Communicating in a simple manner is about cutting through the noise and gaining their attention quickly. Stories, while sometimes too long for an elevator speech time frame, are great at simple because they are concrete and visual.

Wise Judgment: How a Millionaire Makes Decisions

A man walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer.

He told the loan officer that he was going to the Philippines on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan.

Then the man handed over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the guy for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parked it there. Two weeks later, the guy returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest, which came to $15.41.

The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000. The millionaire replied, “Where else in New York City can I park my Ferrari for $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

That's how the majority of the wealthy people in America get and remain wealthy. They know a ton more about money management than the average person and they use this specific knowledge to make better financial decisions.

Making better choices is mainly about getting great information and then disciplining yourself to use it.






Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:

1. The Millionaire came at the problem of parking his Ferrari from a different direction then most would. What is an area of your life that could benefit from attacking the problem from a different direction?

2. What are the advantages of attacking a problem from a different direction?

3. What are some ways you can discipline yourself to use the information you have to make better choices?

Masterful Communication: Seth Godin Tip

For your next presentation...

• Put up a slide with a simple, but powerful visual (no text).


• Create an "I want to know what that means" moment by delaying explanation or just allowing for a few moments of audience examination.


• Explain the connection between the visual and your content - it should be a leap to connect the two, but not a huge leap.

This tip from Seth comes from Garr Reynolds' new book on giving simple, yet powerful presentations - Presentation Zen.

Masterful Communication: Authenticity Rules Blog

My presentation coaching blog has a new home and a new focus. I have blogged for a year at http://speak.terapad.com and produced 50 posts on everything from AV set-up, overcoming nervousness, storytelling, and many more topics relevant to novice and advanced communicators.

The new blog, Authenticity Rules, will cover much of the same information, but everything will funnel down to how to be more authentic before, during and after your presentations. Check it out, subscribe and forward this link to three friends who present on a regular basis...

Goal Processing: Og Words of Wisdom (Part 3 of 3)

Our final set of thoughts from Og Mandino as you work on your 2008 resolutions and goals...

Og Mandino Quotes (Part 3)

201. This day is all you have and these hours are now your eternity. Greet this sunrise with cries of joy as a prisoner who is reprieved from death.
202. This is the place.
203. This is the time.
204. This too shall pass.
205. Time teaches all things to him who lives forever, but I have not the luxury of eternity.
206. To conquer fear I must always act without hesitation and the flutters in my heart will vanish.
207. To enjoy success I must have happiness, and laughter will be the maiden who serves me.
208. To multiply your value you must multiply your actions.
209. To surpass the deeds of others is unimportant; to surpass your own deeds is all.
210. Today I begin a new life.
211. Today I shed my old skin which hath too long suffered the bruises of failure and the wounds of mediocrity.
212. Today I will multiply my value a hundredfold.
213. Today I will surpass every action which I performed yesterday.
214. Today you will be master of your emotions.
215. Today, I will act.
216. Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy.
217. Tomorrow lies buried with yesterday.
218. True wealth is of the heart, not of the purse.
219. Try again, make one more attempt to close with victory, and if that fails, make another.
220. Try, and try, and try again.
221. Understand and recognize the moods of others. Make allowances for their anger and irritation for they know not the secret of controlling their minds.
222. Unless you act you will perish in a life of failure, misery, and sleepless nights.
223. Unless you put your skills, mind, heart, and body to good use, you will stagnate, rot, and die.
224. Victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats.
225. We must have the night to appreciate the day.
226. Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.
227. Welcome happiness for it enlarges your heart; endure sadness for it opens your soul.
228. What can take place before this sun sets which will not seem insignificant in the river of centuries?
229. What is success other than a state of mind?
230. When an act becomes easy through constant repetition, it becomes a pleasure to perform, and if it is a pleasure to perform, it is man's nature to perform it often.
231. When I am burdened with wealth I shall tell myself that this too shall pass.
232. When I am moved to praise, I will shout from the roofs.
233. When I am puffed with success I shall warn myself that this too shall pass.
234. When I am strangled in poverty I shall tell myself that this too shall pass.
235. When I am tempted to criticize, I will bite on my tongue.
236. When others cease their struggle, then mine will begin, and my harvest will be full.
237. When you are heavy with heartache console yourself that this too shall pass.
238. Where dry desert ends, green grass grows.
239. Where there are idle mouths I will listen not; where there are idle hands I will linger not; where there are idle bodies I will visit not.
240. Will my concern for this day not seem foolish ten years hence?
241. With each victory the next struggle becomes less difficult.
242. With love I will tear down the wall of suspicion and hate which they have built round their hearts, and in its place, I will build bridges so that my love may enter their souls.
243. Within you burns a flame which has been passed from generations uncounted, and its heat is a constant irritation to your spirit to become better than you are, and you will.
244. Yesterday's joy will become today's sadness; yet today's sadness will grow into tomorrow's joy.
245. Yesterday's success will not lull me into today's complacency.
246. Yesterday is buried forever, think of it no more.
247. You are a unique creature.
248. You are here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand.
249. You are nature's greatest miracle.
250. You are rare, and there is value in all rarity; therefore, you are valuable.
251. You can accomplish far more than you have, and you will.
252. You can overcome seemingly impossible obstacles with ambition.
253. You have been given eyes to see and a mind to think.
254. You have but one life and life is naught but a measurement of time.
255. You have unlimited potential.
256. You may encounter failure at the thousandth step, yet success hides behind the next bend in the road. You will never know how close success lies unless you turn the corner.
257. You must fail often to succeed only once.
258. You must have objectives before your life will crystallize.
259. You must nurture your body and mind in order to fulfill your dreams.
260. You only have time to love.
261. You were conceived in love and brought forth with a purpose.
262. You will become great.
263. You won't know how close success is unless you turn the corner.

Goal Processing: Og's Words of Wisdom (Part 2 of 3)

Just a few more thoughts from Og Mandino as you work on your 2008 resolutions and goals...Og Mandino Quotes (Part 2)

101. I will work when the failure seeks rest.
102. If all things shall pass, why should I be of concern for today?
103. If I delay, success will become betrothed to another and lost to me forever.
104. If I have no other qualities I can succeed with love alone.
105. If I persist, if I continue to try, if I continue to charge forward, I will succeed.
106. If I stumble I will rise, and my falls will not concern me.
107. If you bring joy, enthusiasm, brightness, and laughter to your customers, they will react with joy, enthusiasm, brightness, and laughter and your weather will produce a harvest of sales and a granary of gold for you.
108. If you feel depressed - sing!
109. If you feel fear, plunge ahead.
110. If you feel incompetent, remember past successes.
111. If you feel insignificant, remember your goals.
112. If you feel poverty, think of wealth to come.
113. If you feel sad - laugh.
114. If you must be a slave to habit, then be a slave to good habits.
115. If you persist long enough, you will win.
116. If you waste today, you destroy the last page of your life.
117. Ignore the obstacles at your feet and keep your eyes on the goals above your head.
118. In setting my goals, I will consider my best performance of the past and multiply it a hundredfold.
119. Increase your knowledge of mankind.
120. It pays to be persistent.
121. Just as love is my weapon to open the hearts of men, love is also my shield to repulse the arrows of hate and the spears of anger.
122. Just as nature made no provision for your body to tolerate pain neither has it made any provision for your life to suffer failure.
123. Keep work and family separate.
124. Laugh and your life will be lengthened for this is the great secret of long life.
125. Laugh at goodness and it will thrive and abound.
126. Laugh at the world.
127. Laugh at your failures and they will vanish in clouds of new dreams.
128. Laugh at your successes and they will shrink to their true value.
129. Laugh at yourself for man is most comical when he takes himself too seriously.
130. Leave your problems at home.
131. Lift up a friend in need.
132. Lift your arms with thanks for this priceless gift of a new day.
133. Live this day as if it is your last. Seal up the container of life so that not one drop spills itself upon the sand.
134. Live this day as if it is your last.
135. Live today as if it is your last chance to prove your love and your greatness.
136. Look upon each obstacle as a lesson to be learned.
137. Look upon misfortune as opportunity in disguise.
138. Love the darkness because it shows you the stars.
139. Love will melt all hearts like the sun whose rays soften the coldest clay.
140. Love yourself!
141. Make every hour count and trade each minute only for something of value.
142. Make love your greatest weapon.
143. Make the hours ahead priceless!
144. Make this day the best day of your life.
145. Many face each obstacle in their path with fear and doubt and consider themas enemies, when in truth, these obstructions are friends and helpers.
146. Many succumb to despair and fail without realizing that they already possess all the tools needed to acquire great wealth.
147. Master your emotions so that each day will be productive.
148. Master your moods through positive action and when you master your moods you will control your destiny.
149. Meditation and prayer feeds the soul.
150. My desire to meet the world will overcome every fear I once knew, and I will be happier than I ever believed it possible to be in this world of strife and sorrow.
151. Nature knows not defeat.
152. Never allow yourself to become so important, so wise, so dignified, so powerful, that you forget how to laugh at yourself.
153. Never be satisfied with yesterday's accomplishments.
154. Never feel shame for trying and failing for he who has never failed is he who has never tried.
155. Never will I allow my heart to become small and bitter, rather I will share it and it will grow and warm the earth.
156. Never will I allow my mind to be attracted to evil and despair, rather I will uplift it with the knowledge and wisdom of the ages.
157. Never will I allow my soul to become complacent and satisfied, rather I will feed it with meditation and prayer.
158. Never will I labor to be happy; rather will I remain too busy to be sad.
159. Never will I overindulge the requests of my flesh, rather I will cherish my body with cleanliness and moderation.
160. Never will I scratch for excuses to gossip.
161. No longer shall my vocabulary include such words as cannot, unable, impossible, and quit.
162. No longer will I fail to call again tomorrow on he who meets me with hate today.
163. Obstacles are necessary for success.
164. Only a habit can subdue another habit.
165. Only action determines my value in the market place.
166. Only with laughter and happiness can I enjoy the fruits of my labor.
167. Only with laughter and happiness can you truly become a success.
168. People will always respond positively to joy and enthusiasm.
169. Persist and develop your skills as the mariner develops his, by learning to ride out the wrath of each storm.
170. Persist with the knowledge that each failure to sell will increase your chance for success at the next attempt.
171. Practice the art of patience for nature never acts in haste.
172. Put your uniqueness on display in the market place.
173. Rain cleanses the spirit.
174. Remember that as today's dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow's bloom so does today's sadness carry the seed of tomorrow's joy.
175. Remove from your vocabulary such words and phrases as quit, cannot, unable, impossible, out of the question, improbable, failure, unworkable, hopeless, and retreat; for they are the words of fools.
176. Rewards are great if one succeeds but the rewards are great only because so few succeed.
177. Seek constantly to improve your manners and graces, for they are the sugar to which all are attracted.
178. Set goals for the day, the week, the month, the year, and your life.
179. Should you concern yourself over events which you may never witness? Should you torment yourself with problems that may never come to pass? No! Tomorrow lies buried with yesterday, think of it no more.
180. Sleep in peace for you have not failed.
181. Small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.
182. Smile and your digestion will improve.
183. So long as I can laugh, never will I be poor.
184. So long as there is breath in me, that long will I persist.
185. Strive for happiness and peace of mind.
186. Strive for happiness, to be loved and to love, and most important, to acquire peace of mind and serenity.
187. Strive to become better than you are.
188. Strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.
189. Success comes to those willing to work a little bit harder than the rest.
190. Success will not wait.
191. Suffer me to know that all things shall pass.
192. The height of my goals will not hold me in awe though I may stumble often before they are reached.
193. The only difference between those who have failed and those who have succeeded lies in their habits.
194. The prizes of life are at the end of each journey, not near the beginning; and it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to reach my goal.
195. The problems of the market place will be left in the market place.
196. The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.
197. There are good qualities in everyone.
198. There are lessons to be learned from failures.
199. There is no room in the market place for your family, nor is there room in your home for the market.
200. There is not time to hate, only time to love.