Fostering Relationships: Perception and the Person

In developing your personal network and in your dealings with perfect strangers, remember this phrase...

"If you can't get past the perception, you will never get to the real person."

This phrase reminds us that in most cases there is great divide between the perception you have of someone you first meet and the actual person. Effective leaders who are great at fostering relationships develop a healthy interpersonal pattern of getting through the perception quickly and learning about and connecting with the real person. Some quick tips for doing that...

1. Ask questions and listen (demonstrate interest and respect)
2. Paraphrase their comments (language barriers equates to trust barriers)
3. Seek first to understand and then to be understood (put your interests second and the relationship's interests first)
4. Smile and just be friendly (puts you and them at ease)

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The Unmade Leader: The Jinga Moment

We are all born with others trusting us. The human baby is the international symbol of trust, kindness and innocence.

At some moment, that trust is switched off. It is similar to the Hasbro® game of Jinga. We build a tower of trust blocks. We then begin a precarious process of taking the blocks out (breaking trust with others) and placing them back on top (trying to rebuild that trust). We feel like we are succeeding, but in reality we are breaking down the integrity of our trust tower and if this pattern continues it will fall and the rebuilding process will be long and arduous.

Effective leaders understand the power of developing the correct patterns in life that serve to maintain their tower as is and they avoid the process of taking out and replacing trust blocks. They keep their blocks in place. If and when trust is diluted or damaged, they take the time to very carefully put the block right back in place. It takes time. It takes focus. But it is worth it.

An example is the pattern of Stop, Drop and ROLLL....

Stop... When you recognize that trust has been diluted or damaged, stop what you are doing and respond to it.

Drop... Drop your pride, drop your emotion (very difficult to do) and drop any old negative patterns that you know will prevent you from getting to the ROLLL.

ROLLL...

Respect the other person first. When trust has been damaged, you need to focus on the person involved, not the process. Show them you recognize you were wrong. Apologize. Be humble. Ask their opinion on the situation and deal with the circumstances second. Deal with the relationship first.

Open the dialogue with seeking to understand the other person’s position first. Then work to help them understand your position and interests second.

Listen Like a Leader. After the dialogue has begun, your task is to listen like a leader. Effective leaders listen intently, actively, purposefully, and openly. They don’t just wait to talk. They purposefully listen.

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Integrity: Placed... Re-engineering Responsibility

A select few in this world are chosen to serve in a position of influence. They are placed as protectors of integrity and faith in a world of indifference and false-witness. Many assume this responsibility is a choice - a conscience decision. I believe this assumption encourages responsibility to be viewed lightly and without the appropriate level of intensity. When looked at from the point of view of the former, it becomes clear the position has chosen the person.

This demands respect and humbles the recipient into action. If you are in a position of authority and\or influence, it is your duty to hold yourself accountable and have the highest level of expectations in regards to your conduct and performance! You were placed in that position because you are part of a much larger plan! It is your responsibility to perform at your personal best, thereby inspiring the same in others!

So, how is this discussion relevant to you and your life?

First of all, it is human nature to desire to understand the meaning of life and why things happen as they do.

Secondly, we as a country desperately need to infuse a hefty dose of personal responsibility into the national psyche. Starting one person at a time.

It is also important to note this discussion is not meant to serve as a cop-out for those in less-fortunate or under-privileged situations. This is certainly not a ''life just did this to me'' philosophy. This philosophy and the supporting arguments serves the purpose of re-engineering the responsibility of those in power and influence in America – no matter the size of that influence.

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The Unmade Leader: American Airlines and The Middle Earth Moment

The Middle Earth Moment is when a person focuses more on what's going on in their own little world, ignores the needs of someone else and consquently damages their own ability to create value. On a recent trip home from speaking, I encountered someone who had a Middle Earth Moment. She was the "at-the-gate-take-your-ticket-service-engineer" for American Airlines. I travel frequently and have built up upgrades I use to move from coach to first-class. As I checked-in I asked if I could upgrade. She responded in haste that first-class was full. I said ok and walked to my 19D seat. After they closed the airplane doors, I checked the seating in first-class. There were 6 empty seats! She simply didn't want to deal with my request (which would have required her to re-issue me a new ticket - a process that averages about 2 minutes).

Her Middle Earth Moment caused her to think, "my need of getting everyone onboard is greater than this passenger's need for great customer service." Because in the end, it wasn't so much about not having my request filled, it was more that she deliberately lied to make her life easier.

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The Unmade Leader: Brainstorming the Book...

April 18, 2007 "The Unmade Leader" Brainstorming Output
Click on the image to enlarge

• 
  
  The left-hand column are the traits we are born with that contribute to our leadership effectiveness. They are in red are called "Switches."


• 
  
  The opposite of each Switch is in black text and in parenthesises.


• 
  
  The dynamic that exists that can keep the Switch on is in black text and in brackets.


• 
  
  The Switches are turned on naturally from birth and then something happens to switch them off. These are called the Unmaking Moments. They are green in the middle column.


• 
  
  Each Switch and Moment corresponds with one of the PLI Essentials. They are in blue in the right-hand column.

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The Unmade Leader: The Green Grass Moment

Review any posts titled "The Unmade Leader" to get up to speed on this concept. In short, our upcoming book takes a look at a new method of looking at the old question, "Are leaders born or made?" The concept statement is...

"Leaders are born and then unmade."

This unmaking process happens throughout our life. The identification and discussion of these moments and how to overcome them are the focus of The Unmade Leader. Here are the moments already discussed in previous posts...

The Energy Scales Moment
The Inner World Moment

The Knowledge Jar Moment

The Two-Steps Back Moment

Throughout the next few posts, I will highlight a few of the other moments that unmake leaders...

The Green Grass Moment

(The trait we are born with is a Connection With Others.)

Life is a team sport. This is no more evident than in the basic principle that we need others from the moment we are born. At some moment, we lose the ability to focus on and appreciate those around us and we start to think that the grass is greener on the other side, i.e. - new friends, new spouse, different co-workers, etc. will make life better. For many people, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy because they neglect their relationships and the "grass" on their side of the hill dies and the grass on the other side is greener. Effective leaders recognize the power of relationships and that the most important relationships are those within our close circle. They nurture these relationships and exercise leadership in this circle first and in outer circles second.

(PLI Essential of Fostering Relationships)

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The Unmade Leader: Can Leaders be Remade?

Over the past week I have been unpacking our new answer to the old question, "are leaders born or made?" The concept statement is...

"Leaders are born and then unmade."

Each post has revolved around a question. Here is the current list...

Born with what?
What is a leader?
Are leaders born with everything they need to lead?
What does unmade mean?
What are other moments that unmake leaders?

Today's question is, "Can leaders be remade?"

The short answer is yes, with the proper motivation and techniques. That is actually what my speaking and leadership training company, YourNextSpeaker, is all about: blocking the unmaking of leaders and remaking leaders. We call the framework for this development process Personal Leadership Insight and this is where the ten PLI Essentials come into play.

Leaders can be remade if they...

1. Identify that an unmaking moment has occurred.

2. Recognize and place value on remaking their influence ability.

3. Understand how their influence has been diluted, damaged or deleted. Is it in the area of relationships, goals, integrity, creativity, talent, communication, etc.?

4. Seek out techniques and tools to replenish, restore and revive their influence.

Point number four is why the Personal Leadership Insight curriculum exists. To provide leaders an information portal to remake their ability to positively influence people and situations to create value and growth. Chances are there is a point of interest within this blog that can help you today on your remaking path...

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General: The Uphill Journey

Hit the green play button to play and/or right-click the song title to download this grand finale song from my leadership guitar keynote "The Uphill Journey!"

Uphill Song, by Rhett Laubach [2:22, 5.5 MB, Mp3]

The Unmade Leader: What Are Other Moments That Unmake Leaders?

We are continuing to examine our new approach to the question, "are leaders born or made?" The concept statement is...

"Leaders are born and then unmade."

Each of the recent posts have addressed a certain question. Here is the current list...

Born with what?

What is a leader?

Are leaders born with everything they need to lead?

What does unmade mean?

Today's question is, "What are the other moments that unmake leaders?"

First an explanation of the concept. I believe that people are born with most of the significant traits and qualities that they need to have a positive influence on others (which is what I believe effective leaders essentially do). I also believe that based on the type of leadership acts that a person needs to do to make their positive influence, they have to learn skills and strengthen their traits and qualities to be an expert leader. However, I believe the most important dynamic that prevents leaders from moving to the expert level is the unmaking process. This is where we experience certain moments that dilute, damage or delete traits that we were naturally born with.

So, we circle back around to our question for today, "What are other moments that unmake leaders?" (see this post to view the first two I discussed)

(The born-with trait is first and the unmaking moment is second...)

Enthusiasm for life - The Energy Scales Moment. The phrase "youthful enthusiasm" is used often to describe the energy level of young people. Interestingly enough it is also a trait identified in highly effective leaders. A multitude of books and article have been written on the critical trait of a high energy level. However, at some moment something changes and our scales of energy tip to the lazy, idle, drab, unexcited side. For many people, this one dynamic alone is sufficient enough to unmake their ability to move from an entry level leader to an expert level leader.

(PLI Essential of Emotional Maturity)

Affection to Care - The Inner World Moment. As a full-time leadership trainer, I am often called to teach people about the life skill of motivation. If I only have a few seconds to relate something tangible about how to get and stay motivated, I always say go help someone. This is the most useful and relevant strategy for getting and staying motivated over the long haul - to take your daily focus off of you and put it on others. Now, this doesn't mean that you neglect your personal well-being needs. It means that at some moment, people unmake their ability to be an expert leader by only living in and thinking about their own little inner world. By doing this, they dilute, damage or delete their ability to care for others. Expert leaders overcome the unmaking moments in life, they develop the skills necessary to lead in their circle of influence and then they get out of their inner world and consistently put their focus and attention on others.

(PLI Essential of Service-Minded)

More to come...

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The Unmade Leader: What does unmade mean?

The past few posts have focused on a new approach to the answer of "Are leaders born or made?" The idea is this...

"Leaders are born and then unmade."

Each post is built around a question. Here is the current list...

Born with what?

What is a leader?

Are leaders born with everything they need to lead?

Today's question is "what does unmade mean?"

The "unmaking" that this concept speaks to is the process of a person, who is born with most of the natural gifts and qualities that they need to positively influence others, experiencing moments in their life where they dilute, change, damage or downright lose these gifts and qualities. Here are a few examples (the trait we are born with is first and the moment of unmaking is second).

Curiosity of life - The "Knowledge Jar" Moment. As we progress through life we are learning constantly. At some moment, something changes and we begin to think differently about this learning process and begin unmaking our curiosity for life. We begin to see our knowledge as being contained in a jar and once that jar is filled with the knowledge that we need to do what we are doing now (personally and professionally), we put a lid on it and stop being curious. Effective leaders have many jars and few lids. They are constantly examining old knowledge, replacing bad knowledge with better knowledge and adding new jars to fill with new knowledge.

(PLI Essential of Innovative)

Courage to risk boldly - The "Two-Steps Back" Moment. As a child and an adolescent, we possess unbridled and sometimes reckless courage. At some moment, we begin letting our fear of pain and embarrasment from the negative results of this courage change the way we think about risking boldly. We begin taking two steps back for every one step forward and we begin unmaking our courage to risk boldly. Effective leaders learn to embrace this fear and embarrasment and are emboldened by it. They learn to flip the equation... they take two steps forward for every one step back.

(PLI Essential of Emotional Maturity)

This process of identifying what we are all naturally born with that is at the core of effective leadership, attaching a moment that changes things and then highlighting strategies and tools for overcoming these moments (and/or avoiding them) is the core focus of our new book that will be coming out in a few months. If you would like to receive a personalized first-run copy, just shoot me an email at rhett@yournextspeaker.com.

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The Unmade Leader: Are Leaders Born With Everything They Need to Lead?

We are still dealing with the question, "Are leaders born or made?" My new take on the answer is...

"Leaders are born and then unmade."

We are unpacking what that means and why I believe that way. We started with the question, "born with what?" Then we asked "what is a leader?" Today the question is "are leaders born with everything they need to lead?"

The obvious answer is no. However, upon further thought we find that the answer is actually yes (at a very basic level). John Maxwell says that, "Leadership is influence." When we use this definition of leadership as our foundation, we can say that at some basic level everyone is a leader because everyone has some type of influence on others and this dynamic starts at birth.

However, this only explains the entry level of leadership. For leaders to move beyond this point to the emerging, engaged and expert levels, they must actively apply their natural traits, learn the wordly standards and conduct codes that go along with the type of leadership they need to perform and watch closely that they do not fall victim to the "unmaking moments" that can ruin leaders.

So, are leaders born with everything they need to lead? Yes at an entry level. No at an advanced level.

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The Unmade Leader: What is a leader?

We are still dealing with the question, "Are leaders born or made?" My new take on the answer is...

"Leaders are born and then unmade."

We are unpacking what that means and why I believe that way. Yesterday's unpacking question was "born with what?" Today's question is "what is a leader?"

To begin answering this question, let's look at our definition of effective leadership...

"Effective leadership is positively influencing people and situations to create value and growth."

Key words...

Positive - Most people associate leadership in general with being good or positive. They see leadership as a good thing. Even though leadership can certainly be negative and leaders can use their power and influence to do bad things, our definition of effective leadership is rooted in the examination of what it takes to be a part of the solution, not the problem.

Influencing - At its core, the act of leadership is about influencing another person to act.

Create Value - The key deliverable of effective leadership is value - something now exists of purpose and use that didn't exist before.

With this definition in mind, let's look at four levels of the definition of a leader...

Entry Leader - A person who has influence (everyone).

Emerging Leader - A leader who uses this influence in a positive way (less than everyone).

Engaged Leader - A leader whose positive influence creates followers (even less).

Expert Leader - A leader who creates tremendous value for their followers (the select few).

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The Unmade Leader: Born With What?

For the next few days, the blog will be focusing on the discussion of my new take on the old question, "Are leaders born or made?" The concept is this...

"Leaders are born and then unmade."

There is a powerful amount of discussion, arguments, viewpoints, assumptions and underlying-concepts within those six simple words. I want to spend the next few days unpacking them.

The unpacking process will be framed with the PLI structure and in the form of one question per post.

Today's question is "born with what?"

I believe that the core of a leader's effectiveness contains most everything they need to be effective and that they were born with these basic elements...

• Enthusiasm for life
• Curiosity of everything
• Courage to risk boldly
• Happiness to laugh
• Affection to care
• Thirst for information
• Confidence to ask questions
• Spirit to trust
• Internal compass to know right from wrong

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The Unmade Leader: Are Leaders Born or Made?

One of the biggest leadership questions of all time is...

"Are leaders born or made?"

One camp thinks leaders are born - that people either have or don't have the qualities and traits to effectively influence others.

Another camp believes leaders are made - that the skills it takes to lead are partly genetic, but mostly learned.

A concept I would like you to consider and then analyze how it applies to your leadership journey is that leaders are born and then overtime they are unmade through the struggles and trials of life. Meaning that everyone is born with ears to listen, a mouth to smile, a heart to care, a conscience that knows right from wrong, a spirit of enthusiasm, etc. and then overtime we slowly lose those or we do not get rewarded properly for using those.

Now, we still must learn the mechanics of effective leadership (eye contact, time management, intellectual pursuits, etc.), but chiefly our purpose is to not let others, the pressures of life, the really good times or the really bad times to unmake our inherent ability to be an effective leader.

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Integrity: What I Believe

There are three things I most believe in that direct everything I do and everything I am.

Belief I

I believe God is the creator of heaven and earth and I believe Jesus Christ is my personal savior. Which is a good thing because I struggle at life sometimes. But every time I make a mistake, I know He's got my back. This belief also allows me to have a self-worth that isn't based on my behavior or other people's opinions or in comparison with my peers or society. My self-worth is worth more than I will ever be able to comprehend (so is yours by the way.)

Belief II

I believe my most important task in life is to be a great husband. Three reasons why...

1. My wife is my best friend and I want to keep her loved and happy! It is a phenomenal place to be when you know that your actions every day, big and small, are bringing joy to your best friend. I also have the benefit of having a strong mental anchor that keeps me focused on how lucky I am to have the most beautiful woman in the world (she's pretty cute on the outside, too) as my best friend. I still vividly remember the first time I met Ashley in January of 1997 and I still remember thinking, "Whoever marries this gal is going to be one lucky guy."
2. I believe that being the best husband I can be is the most important thing I can do to be the best father I can be. This means that of all the things I need to do to be a great father, and that list is long, doing what I need to do to be a great husband will have the greatest impact on my daughters. I want them to see and feel and know what true love and commitment to another person looks like.
3. I believe many of society's ills would be closer to being solved if we had a wide-spread epidemic of fathers being better fathers. Especially the fathers of our young boys. Because if we don't solve that problem, helping the fathers of boys be great fathers, then we have a self-perpetuating problem that nothing else will wholly fix.
   

Belief III

I believe everyone is born with what it basically takes to be a positive leader. We were all born with ears to listen, not just hear; mouths to build others up, not just tear others down; eyes to see the good, not just the bad; minds to learn, not just to waste; and hearts to care, not just to beat. The great leadership question of our time is,"Are leaders born or made?" I believe leaders are born and then they are un-made. Our ability to listen, to build others up, to see the good, to learn and to care become filtered and weakened and neglected and over time the leader in us becomes un-made. We teach each other not to be leaders by criticizing and demoralizing those who step away from the pack and risk boldly. We have also created too many very attractive reasons to be a negative leader.

• At home - We can get a $99 divorce and have half of our adult peers to lean on for reasons why it was acceptable and prudent to not follow-through on the most important commitment we will ever make.
• At school - We can cheat on our tests and still get the grades we need because we are mainly tested on whether or not we got the answer right on paper instead of being tested on how we went about answering the question.
• At work - We can lie, cheat and steal our way to the highest rung on the "success ladder" and no one is there to boldly convince us that we aren't truly a success because our ladder is leaning on a wall of dishonesty, deceit and moral bankruptcy.

These three beliefs operate as magnets for how the ten PLI Essentials manifest themselves in my life. They impact greatly my Vision, my Integrity, my Innovativeness, my Wise Judgment, my Service-Mindedness, my Goal Processing, my Skill Assessment, my Emotional Maturity, my ability to Foster Relationships and my Masterful Communication. What impacts yours?

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Skill Assessment: Doing Leadership Right!

If you want to see how raising emotionally and socially healthly children is done right, look no further than the 18 middle schools surrounding Riverside Middle School in Carson, Iowa (30 minutes east of Omaha, Nebraska.)

I just spent an amazing two days with some of the best 10-14 year olds and some of the best teachers and parents I have ever had the opportunity to know.

These students were ready and willing to listen, to have fun, and to learn about leadership. They were respectful, fun-loving, attentive, creative and hard-workers.

Thanks, Riverside for being one of the best groups I have worked with in a long, long time! And remember what we learned...

1. Leadership is about focusing on others
2. Getting excited about doing leadership will change your life
3. Treat people more like Jeremy and less like Shawn
4. Dead dairy is bad and leadership is not the same as being good
5. Wobblycootins are there to help us have fun, not to keep us from having fun!

Link to newspaper article

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Innovative: Quotes

“When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.”
Albert Einstein

“Creative thinking may mean simply the realization that there is no particular virtue in doing things the way they have always been done.”
Rudolph Flesch

“The innovation point is the pivotal moment when talented and motivated people seek the opportunity to act on their ideas and dreams.”
W. Arthur Porter

“Since we live in an age of innovation, a practical education must prepare a man for work that does not yet exist and cannot yet be clearly defined.”
Peter Drucker

“You have all the reason in the world to achieve your grandest dreams. Imagination plus innovation equals realization.”
Denis Waitley

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Integrity: Quotes

“With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.”
Keshavan Nair

“Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous, half possession.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Integrity is so perishable in the summer months of success.”
Vanessa Redgrave

“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
Winston Churchill

“In looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you.”
Warren Buffett

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Vision: Quotes

“Vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is a nightmare.”
Japanese Proverb

“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”
Peter Drucker

“A leader has the vision and conviction that a dream can be achieved. He inspires the power and energy to get it done.”
Ralph Lauren

“The future belongs to those who see possibilities before they become obvious.”
John Scully

“All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.”
T.E. Lawrence

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Masterful Communication: Get Past Personality to Productivity

I spent a powerful three hours yesterday with the board members of the National Junior Hereford Association. The workshop was How to Communicate Like a Master and it became a session on how the board can effectively make decisions as a group of "big personality" leaders. (The goal of the entire two-day meeting for the board was to plan two big events coming up this summer.) Here are a few of the "group think" guidelines we developed...

• Have a pre-defined discussion leader. This does not have to be the person with the most authority in the room. It actually works better many times for it not to be.


• If you find you need more information to make decisions in the room, find it now if you can, assign who will track it down if you can't track it down now or don't make the decision now.


• Flip chart your ideas and number the sheets and the bullet points.


• Have a Parking Lot flip chart to capture ideas that you want to revisit, but that will distract from the current conversation.


• The discussion leader needs to hold their tongue on their opinions. They control too much of the conversation flow energy to self-impose their will on the discussion.


• Speak in concrete terms. Who exactly will move that forward? What exactly will that look like?


• Vote first (blindly) on the ideas that have been presented and then offer judgments. You might find that everyone agrees on the same thing and you can save hours of unnecessary banter time.


• Creating ideas is a totally separate process from making judgments on ideas. If you do both at the same time, it steals the energy away from the creation process and it inadvertently stunts the effectiveness of the judgments.

These systems are designed to help groups make better decisions AND to make the decision making process shorter and more effective (better ideas, more ideas, cleaner ideas, opinions from everyone, parliamentary procedure style discussion, etc.). These systems also help strip away these two meeting crasher dynamics...

"The ideas that get discussed come primarily from the biggest personality in the room..."

and

"The people with the most prior experience in the room have better ideas than others..."

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Innovative: Disapprovers vs. Improvers

Not long ago I facilitated a six-hour brainstorming session with the student organization leaders of a Missouri high school. Our purpose was to develop a community service project that all the organizations could work on together. It was an awesome experience and a great idea!

After four hours the students voted to re-model and re-open their run down city park. Two seconds after the vote was cast, the negative talk started.

"We've tried this before. We will never get this accomplished while we are in high school. There are too many local and state regulations. The city will never cooperate."

The next hour was filled with a crystal clear picture of what really kills or energizes the enthusiasm in ideas and people - disapprovers and improvers. The students focusing only on the negatives and the reasons why the idea was bad were acting as disapprovers. Those students who chose to view the negatives as challenges and focus more on the positives were acting as improvers.

With a little persistence (and a guiding hand from the facilitator), the improvers outweighed the disapprovers and the disapprovers agreed to get behind the idea and work together to accomplish the common goal. The students were left with two thoughts:

1. The park idea is a good or a bad one based solely on whether they think it is good or bad. Their approach in thinking to the situation defines the situation.

2. The quality of their effort as a school in completing the project will be based in large part on how effectively the disapprovers can get as passionately behind the idea as they were able to get so passionately against it.

When a new idea or project comes your way, even if you do not totally agree with it, make the good choice to agree to disagree and choose to be an improver. Believe me, this world has enough disapprovers already!

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Skill Assessment: Torchbearers

One of our most popular modules for student and professional elected leaders is called Torchbearers. Review the list below to see if you qualify as a Torchbearer...




The Torchbearer Seven Defining Qualities…

1. Thirsty for personal and professional growth
2. Strong allegiance to organizations*
3. Values and fosters relationships within and without their organizations
4. Self-assure and gains partial or full identity from organizations
5. Self-aware of how they play a role in moving their organizations forward
6. Intelligently optimistic about the future
7. Effective communicator (public and private)

* Organizations are defined as any entity that brings people together for a common cause (family, neighborhood, community, business, professional association, state, nation, religion, etc.)

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Integrity: Where do you come from?

WHERE I COME FROM
By Rhett Laubach (circa 1991)

Where I come from there is a spot of grass in an open field
The field is a couple of acres in size and the grass soft and friendly
The closest highway is a country mile away
The closest city is thirty city miles away

Not many strangers pass by this field
Course, not many strangers pass by anywhere around there
Where I come from no one is a stranger
Just a friend you have not made yet

Where I come from you can stand in that field and feel safe
The kind of safe you can not get from locks or whistles
That field and grass hold more than security where I come from
They hold a window to a way of life

You can stand in the middle of that field on a clear night
You can see every single star in the sky
You lay down in that soft grass and just stare
The only noise you hear is the distant howl of the coyote
The sound of your thoughts

Where I come from life is simple and clean
Where I come from family, friends and the land are paramount
Taking care of all three is at the very being of who we are
It is where we draw our strength and our values

We understand who we are because we have had time to think about it
That is why we respect that field and that grass so much
When you are lying there in the cool night, just you and the coyotes
The land and the heavens become one

This place of freedom which I hold in such regard
Is right behind the house – the home where I grew up
Where I come from heaven was in my own backyard

If I could have one wish
It would be for everyone to have a backyard like that
Their own little heaven just to think, feel ultimately safe
Appreciate where they come from

I am who I am because of this life building experience called where I come from.

[Download PDF version]

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Masterful Communication: The Visual Anchor

Any time you need and/or want a message you are communicating to stick with your audience, build in one or two strong visual anchors. Anymore than that and they will get lost. Any fewer than that and your message will get lost. Just think Sesame Street. Ten bucks says you are thinking of a large yellow bird right now...

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Emotional Maturity: Attitude Impacts Everything

Your attitude is vital to your leadership effectiveness because it impacts everything you do. It determines your ability to attract others. It dictates your outlook on life. It strengthens or disables your ability to overcome a setback. It guides your words. It is your thoughts. It enables your productivity – whether that be very or nary.

I recently listened to a podcast interview with Joseph Finder and Malcolm Gladwell [MP3, 42.5 MB, 46:25] where Malcolm talks about our explanatory style. This is a psychology term for how we respond to setbacks in our life. People with a pessimistic attitude view setbacks with an "end of the world" view. Optimitic people view setbacks as a temporary condition. (This is just one of many differences between explanatory styles. Google "explanatory styles filetype:pdf" to learn more.)

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Innovative: The Innovation Petri Dishes

We have identified four personal attributes/habits/skills of consistently creative people.

Fluency - When posed with a question/situation/challenge/problem, the consistently creative person seeks out and tries on tons of potential answers.

Flexibility – The consistently creative individual not only thinks out of the box, but attempts to color the box, turn the box into an airplane, finds the box maker, studies the history of boxes, gets back in the box and then back out, etc.

Awareness – There are very, very, very few problems that individuals, companies, communities or organizations face that are brand, spanking new. The creation of something new requires an examination and appreciation of that which is old.

Originality – This may seem like a no brainer, but it is actually exactly the opposite. Your grey matter is totally unique from every other person on earth – 1 in 6 billion. No one has experienced, read, seen, heard, spoken, felt, smelled or touched exactly what you have. That means that you have the opportunity to create authentic output. Don’t be afraid to do it. Exercise that muscle often and it will be one of your greatest strengths!

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Service Minded: Customer Service Insights

Someone explain to me why a business would do these customer service blunders...


1. Not having the hot water turned on in the customer restrooms.

2. Actually saying, "I probably didn't tell you last time that I am bad at calling people back to let them know that their order is ready."

3. Actually saying to a customer when referring to their delivery process of the $1,000 product just sold, "I have no idea when those pictures will be up on the site. I have no idea if they (a 3rd party vendor) will send the same size postcards as we have envelopes. I have no idea if they will send the orders at the same time."

Customer service non-blunders...

1. Have it turned on.

2. Get better at calling your customers back.

3. FIND OUT!

Being service-minded is not just a touchy-feely added bonus. It is caring for the customer, caring for the customer, caring for the customer.

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Integrity: The 5 C's of Leadership Effectiveness

Personal Leadership Insight is a framework for leadership development. One or more of the ten PLI Essentials is an area of development need for all leaders. However, PLI is not a framework for leadership effectiveness. That is why we have the 5 C's...

Clarity

Spend time chasing ambiguity out of your life. Get clear on your strengths, your areas of weakness, your mission in life, your organization's purpose, etc.

Commitment

Trust is at the heart of a leader's effectivness. Everytime you give your word, keep it. (Especially to yourself.)

Change

Like the old saying goes, "When you're green, you're growing. When you're ripe, you rot!"

Commune

Life and leadership are team sports. Strategy, execution, competency, etc. are important, but all are secondary to the human side of leadership.

Create

The only test of leadership that matters is the answer to this question, "What value are you bringing to the table today?"

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Innovative: The Barriers To Creativity

Innovative: The Barriers…

There are three major barriers to individuals not exercising their innate ability to be creative and innovative...

Barrier #1 – Fear of Failure

This one drives the other two and by itself is a creativity killer. The bigger discussion is identifying the true source of this fear. Is it pride? Is it job security? Is it past experiences? Is it simply saving face? More than likely it is a combination of all. However, the truth is, that if you overcome these issues, you will surprise yourself by your creative output!

Barrier #2 – Not My Job

The lack of personal responsibility rears its ugly head everywhere, especially in leadership circles. Many positional leaders lifted to their current status because of a cocktail of taking responsibility (more than likely on things that no one else wanted to do) and of dodging personal responsibility (in order to protect what they have built – career, project, friendship, etc.). It is amazing what gets created that wasn’t there before simply because someone, somewhere said, “That’s not my job, but I will take care of it.”

Barrier #3 – I’m Not Creative

There is a great keynote that was delivered at TED by Sir Ken Robinson [Download video here] last year about the dynamic in America’s school where the system is basically built to serve the student from the neck up and slightly to the right. This is to say that it shouldn’t be a surprise when your people (or you) are not used to being creative or have a self-perception of not being creative. Ever since early in our youth, we have been taught to color in the lines, memorize the correct answers, sit still, etc. All of which are important for creating clones and all of which are horrible at creating creativity.

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Masterful Communication: Note From Boss To Employees

Get ready to hit print after you visit this post at Execupundit.com....

Note From Boss To Employees

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Emotional Maturity; Inside-Out Motivation

All motivation is internal. You and I only do things that we have either passively (out of habit or routine) or actively (out of a thoughtful or emotional process) decided to do. However, every single one of our internally motivated decisions are either passively (via prior experiences) or actively (via what we are experiencing right now) influenced by external motivators. As a leader of others, one of your primary roles is to identify, manage and leverage whatever the external motivators are for your team. You must de-emphasize or erraticate the negative and emphasize the positive. Your ability to do this one thing has a dramatic impact on your company's bottom-line, your association's efforts or your team's success.

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Fostering Relationships: The Effective Teamwork Formula

Click on this image, download it to your hard drive, print it off, study it and do it. It will take about a year to complete the formula, so e-mail me on March 3, 2008 and tell me how it went! Good luck!

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Service Minded: Customer Service Insights

Over the past few weeks, we have had a number of financial institutions contact us regarding communication and customer service training. If you manage customer service professionals or have your hands in customer service, read on. {Jon, thanks for the creation collaboration...}

A quick spattering of some customer service insights we share in our trainings...

1. You Are The Company, Organization, School, Team, etc.

My wife recently visited a health club in our neighborhood. Since we have a one-month old at the house (her nickname is Itsy-Bitsy and our two-year old is Bitsy. I just think that is hilarious), she was really excited about getting back in "pre-baby shape." After five minutes on the treadmill, she felt a knock on her back. One of the personal trainers had literally just walked up to her and started bouncing a training ball off her back - mid-workout! She politely shooed him away, but he was back in five minutes asking un-invited questions and trying to interrupt her workout to gain her business. Needless to say, the strategy didn't work. Not only that, HE is now the reason she will never again patron that gym or any of their other stores.

You are the organization. Everytime a customer talks with you, looks at you, works with you or you handle something actively or passively for a customer, you leave an impression on the customer that is more than just from you - it is from the organization. So, you play a huge role within the organization, no matter how huge your position is!

2. Communicate the Process

I would rather hear why it is taking you five minutes to complete a transaction than to just be kept waiting. Customers need to hear about it when you have to jump through hoops to provide great service for them. But you can't do it in a "this is way harder than it should be" attitude. It has to be with a smile on your face and love in your heart. So, maybe you don't love your customers, maybe you don't even love your work, but hopefully you love putting a smile on your face and your customers' faces. If you don't, you need to slap your career counselor with a paper weight!

3. If it is Worth it, Just do it

During a recent visit to my eye doctor for a routine exam, I was taken into a new room. In this room sat a new piece of equipment I hadn't seen before. The assistant asked if I wanted to spend an extra $32 getting this "additional examination" that tested for a plethora of things that I am sure were important, but that I knew nothing about. I followed her question with, "Will my normal exam be sufficient to check for all the relevant concerns for someone of my age and with my vision?" She sheepishly said yes. Of course, I said no to the additional $32.

If I were my eye doctor, I would take out the step of asking if I want to spend $32 for the additional exam. When I go to somewhere like the eye doctor, I don't expect it to be like the tire and lube place. If my paid professional thinks it is worth it, then don't itemize it out or make it optional. Just do it. By making it optional, she is essentially saying, this is not totally necessary to provide you the best exam possible. So, whatever add-on you are thinking of including, if it is really worth it and totally necessary, then build in the cost and just do it!

4. Know it Before You Show it

In the context of the previous example, that assistant could have sold me on the $32 exam add-on if she had known something and that something is not all the ins and outs of the machine. The training she needed was how to make a personal connection between me (the set of eyes in question) and the benefits of having said eyes examined with the new machine. That is the knowledge piece. The application piece is to get her trained on how to open the discussion in the exam room. She began (and ended) the discussion with listing what the machine does; what it tests for. A better approach would have been to begin with a set of two or three open-ended questions with the end goal of me convincing myself that the additional $32 was necessary. So, she not only needed to know the machine, she needed to know the benefits of the exam to me and the questions dialogue.

5. The Customer Service Secret

Own a genuine sense of caring for the customer. If you can't do that, then at least care for solving the customer's problem. If you can't do that, then at least care for the quality of your work. If you can't do that, then pull that paper weight back out!

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Teaching PLI: What PLI is and What PLI is Not!

Personal Leadership Insight is not only the title and focus of this blog, it is also the monicker we developed to describe what it is we teach and speak/write about at YourNextSpeaker and TRI Leadership Resources. PLI does not encompass everything we do, but it does give us and our clients and potential clients a common language to discuss training and development needs for individuals and organizations. The curriculum itself is framed by the PLI Essentials - the ten leadership capacity areas that everything we teach falls under. Vision, Integrity, etc.

Basically, PLI is a wholistic approach to leadership development. What PLI is not is a wholistic approach to leadership effectiveness. This is to say that to be an effective leader does not require one to be great at all of the ten essentials. Because of the wide swath the essentials take on leadership abilities, this is nearly impossible. What PLI and its unique framework does provide is a roadmap for leaders who need to recognize or have already recognized a development need or a strength need in the realm of leadership. One or more of the PLI essentials speaks to the core ability you need to have as a leader to be productive.

Our goal is to provide you with some insights into how that can happen for you and is happening for others.

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Integrity: Stop, Drop and Roll!

How do we safely and effectively reconcile when we act without integrity? This is a difficult question to answer. Popular theory is that a positive attitude thrives on a bad memory. Meaning we can be more optimistic about our future when we can forget the bad choices we made in our past. This is certainly true to a certain extent. When I think about times I acted in a manner that wasn’t congruent with my core values it tends to knock the wind out of my sails. However, I think a better theory is that a positive attitude thrives when we don’t dwell on our bad memories.

But that is all in the past. Let’s deal with what we do have control over – bad choices we make today. The next time you make a mistake and your behavior does not line up with your core values…

STOP – Recognize it when it happens and choose to deal with it now.

DROP – Drop your pride and say I’m sorry if it is an interpersonal situation or drop that habit if it is an intrapersonal situation.

ROLL – After you have sought out reconciliation, move on! My good friend and associate Kelly Barnes says that we must seek to be the BEST; Better Every Single Time. Just seek to be better next time.

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General: Be a Leader-in-Gear!

Are you a Leader-In-Waiting or Leader-In-Gear?

A leader-in-waiting is in.
A leader-in-gear is involved!

A leader-in-waiting seeks comfort.
A leader-in-gear seeks challenges!

A leader-in-waiting says I am the best I will ever be.
A leader-in-gear says we can be better let’s go there together.

A leader-in-waiting has dreams in his head.
A leader-in-gear has goals in her pocket!

A leader-in-waiting wants to be a leader.
A leader-in-gear has decided to be a leader!

A leader-in-waiting ends up somewhere.
A leader-in-gear ends up somewhere on purpose!

A leader-in-waiting doesn’t want to start.
A leader-in-gear doesn’t want to quit!

A leader-in-waiting thinks about self.
A leader-in-gear thinks about others!

A leader-in-waiting wishes and hopes.
A leader-in-gear wishes and hopes and then does!

Download PDF Version

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Innovative: Every Friday at Hasbro

The Wall Street Journal today has an article about a creativity meeting that happens every Friday at lunch at Hasbro corporate in Massachusetts. The attendees are a combination of game designers, marketers, managers, etc. The purpose of the luncheon is to just play games. Of course one of the deliverables from the play time is ideas for new games or ways to update/revise classics. This is a great example of organized innovation. And even if nothing world changing comes out of it, what a great way to reward the people who make your organization what it is!

So, your task is to make time for innovative dialogue to happen within your organization. Whether you are chatting around a whiteboard or a game board, you are setting yourself up for some potentially great ideas to develop!

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Masterful Communication: Rhett's Speaking Blog

Since 15% of my training time is spent just doing presentation coaching with corporate and student leaders, I thought it valuable to start up a blog just focused on helping people give better presentations. Subscribe to it, read it, learn from it and speak better...

Rhett's Speaking Blog

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Masterful Communication: Filtering and Indexing

Fifty years ago, access to information was king (it was mostly kept in universities and libraries). Ten years ago, the information itself was king (access was digitally pushed/pulled into every household). Today, the ability to filter (exposing yourself to only the information you need or desire) and the ability to index (the physical, digital and intellectual act of organizing information) share the throne.

Your leadership leverage is determined by your ability to gain clarity and then transfer that clarity to others. To get better at that, get better at filtering and indexing.

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Vision: A 12-Year Inspiration

The next time you doubt your ability to create the future you want, watch this clip to remind you of the immaculate capabilities of the human design (and then try not to cry when you realize, like me, that you will never be as talented as this girl...)

A 12-Year Inspiration

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Skill Assessment: Train Your People!

The PLI Essential of Skill Assessment is defined as the ability to act upon a clear understanding of your and your organization's core strengths and challenges. Basically, this means knowing and doing what you are great at. There are a few reasons why this simple dynamic of high performers does not happen regularly in most organizations...

1. Most people have never identified their core strength.
2. Most people don't really care or don't see why they should identify their core strength. Give me a job. Pay me. Let me go home.
3. It is definitely an art form for organizations to be able to match up their talent pool, with qualified applications and their job openings. The companies who do this effectively have invested a large amount of time getting this one thing right - the hiring and placement and training of staff.

However, even when people are placed in positions where they can engage their core strength, they still must be trained on a regular basis - especially when something changes. Here are two examples that happened to me TODAY!

Wal-Mart - The local Wal-Mart has recently changed their store layout and it is hilarious watching the customers (like me) find things now. However, it is FRUSTRATING to no end to watch the Wal-Mart Associates walk around lost. What a great opportunity to exceed expectations by investing less than an hour (which is probably all it would take per group) and have your people up to speed on the new layout. Or at the least, print out a schematic that they could keep in their back pockets when asked a question. It reminds of the time last October when we walked into a brand new Target in Colorado one hour after it opened. The Target staffers were absolutely clueless. But the store did spend a fortune on a magician, a juggler, free food, a huge outdoor banner. Unfortunately, none of the staffers knew where I could purchase a magic kit, some balls, crackers or duct tape.

Dillards - My wife, daughters and I visited Dillards today to get some shoes for the little ones. The store installed new cash registers over the weekend and it literally took three associates, two customer service folks, two manuals and twenty minutes to figure out how to run my debit card as a credit card. Their excuses were plentiful, but none of them helpful. (Turns out the button they were told to push - the "slash" button - was supposed to be the backslash, not the forward slash button. What do you think the chances are none of those five people wrote that little gem down for the next shift?)

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Integrity: The Fujita Scale for Trust

We were discussing the PLI Essential of Integrity today and we developed a Trust Scale. Every effective leader understands and uses trust power to positively influence others. This trust scale doesn't speak to the importance of trust - it is always important. This scale helps us examine and conceptualize the impact of trust when it is lost. The Fujita Scale is how they rate the wind speed and thus the destructive force of tornadoes. F1 - lowest speeds/limited damage. F5 - highest speeds/dog is in the next state. The Trust Scale is rated from T1 - impact of trust loss is low to T5 - you might as well physically be in the barn pictured here.

When you lose trust with someone, the way you can rate the impact is based on your present shared interests and on the level of connections that person has that you have vested interests in. So, if I lose trust with a stranger in Portland because I didn't let them have that cab, that is a T1. However, if I lose trust with my wife or with a key client that is heavily connected in my niche market, that is a T5.

The primary reason for rating the lost trust is to know what to do next. If you just had a T1 come through your life, apologize and move on. If a T5 blows you to New Zealand, you have some serious damage control to do.

However, there are two secrets that the most effective and influential leaders know and leverage.

1. Someone might be a T1 today, but a T5 tomorrow. That is why the maintaining of trust across all levels of relationships is vital to a leader's ability to grow and strengthen their personal influence.
2. Trust has a cumulative effect. A year's worth of T1's can have a very destructive force. And in terms of my preference, I would rather work with someone who causes one F5 in our relationship, learns from it and regains my trust than someone who continually throws F1's my way. The reason for this is that I judge people's performance based on what they do habitually, not on what they do one or two times.

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General: Understanding the Pitfalls of Missing Links

[Click on the image to view a larger version. Print the larger version for best read.]

The Personal Leadership Insight Blog is built around our ten PLI Essentials. As you peruse through the posts, you will find each post discusses one of the ten. For deeper study into each Essential, click on an Essential in the PLI Tags list in the right-hand sidebar.

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Innovative: Blogging Basics

The PLI Essential of Innovativeness is defined as creatively adding value. As the VP of Membership for the Oklahoma Chapter of the National Speakers Association, my job is to figure out how to add value to being a member of our chapter and to coordinate the process of signing up. At our February monthly meeting tomorrow, I am presenting the Power Idea. The Power Idea will be a 7-minute piece on blogging and the benefits for speakers. Click here to view the PDF, here for the PowerPoint and go to these pages for a plethora of blogging tips...

• 8 Steps to Growing Your Blog One Person at a Time


• Daily Blog Tips


• Corporate Blogging: Is it Worth The Hype?


• Scout: Blogging Tips


• Elise's Top Five Tips for Building Blog Traffic


• 10 Ways to Use Blogs to Increase Business


• 5 Ways to Improve Your Blog


• 5 Ways to Improve Blog Performance


• 7 Habits of Effective Blogging


• Small Business Blogging Benefits
  
• Great Article in "The American" about blogging
• 23 Ideas for Finding New Readers For Your Blog
• How to Write a Blog Post
• 21 Surefire Tips for a Successful Blog Launch
• 49 Simple Strategies for Better Blogging
• 14 Steps to Guarantee You'll Never Make More Than 0.14 Cents With AdSense

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Fostering Relationships: Kudos to Some Cool Kids

Just wanted to foster some relationships with my student helpers at the Adair High School FFA/FCCLA Leadership Symposium yesterday (that wasn't the name, but it should have been)!

Dani - Thanks for being us at birth and for not making us change your diaper...
Baja - Sorry you had to be on the other end of our life and good luck with your Locks o' Love...
Heath - You actually make a better window (of opportunity) than you do a wall...
Will - Hope your ego isn't too big today and if you ever need any extra cash you could probably sell your knuckles to Chuck Norris...
Sam - Thanks for being a good sport and please don't send your Cousin Vinny to break my legs...
Alex - You were a perfect chaperone - you have a sweet future in hosting...
The Ag Mechanics Guys - Thanks for serving on the Security and Seating Committee... your commitment to safety and human positioning will not soon be forgotten...

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Innovative: Ask the Hard Questions

I traveled to a small town in Oklahoma today called Adair to encourage about 150 high school students. Thanks to the "DeLozier twins" for not only inviting me to speak, but also for creating a phenominal leadership development environment within your school and your student organizations (FCCLA and FFA). The message today was...

1. Make the most of the opportunities in front of you
2. Choose wisely what you get excited about
3. Aim high in life because you will get what you shoot for
4. They can get everything in life you want if you help enough other people get what they want.

A bonus of today was that I had a travel companion (most of my trips are solo). My travel partner was a client of mine that is passionate about helping students grow and develop into postive, productive leaders. His current position allows him to make an impact, but he sought my help and advice in creating new opportunities within his organization for student development. They have good programs now, but they could have great programs if someone takes the lead and starts to ask the hard questions. Why aren't we seeking out more funding? Why do we have people in the wrong positions where they aren't given the chance to use their strengths? Why are we facing the same problems today that we faced 10 years ago?

Innovation in an organization cannot happen until people start seeking out the answers to tough questions. Once that one hurdle is overcome, many other things can fall into place.

So, what questions do you and your peers need to be asking today to take things to the next level? Engage in dialogue... check your egos and baggage at the door... create some cool!

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Goal Processing: 2007 Day 45

I read about 15 blogs religously. Kevin Eikenberry's blog is one of them. His insight and unique take on life and leadership issues are the primary reasons why. For those of you working on your PLI Essential of Goal Processing, Kevin has a few very important questions for you today. Read them here.

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General: Ten Mission Critical Traits of a Leader

The Personal Leadership Insight curriculum is structured into ten PLI Essentials: Vision, Integrity, Innovative, Wise Judgment, Service Minded, Goal Processing, Emotional Maturity, Skill Assessment, Fostering Relationships, and Masterful Communication.

When we set down to figure out what makes great leaders great, we knew it would be almost historically and statistically impossible to shave that list down a workable/teachable number. However, we did our best (and recruited the help of our network of hundreds of peers, mentors, friends, family members, random people standing in line at the post office, etc.) to create an inclusive list of the general development and skill related areas that effective leaders must work on. Today we look at the PLI Essentials within the context of their connection to a specific mission critical trait...

Vision - Extraordinary leaders see opportunities... average leaders see threats.

Integrity - Extraordinary leaders admit mistakes... average leaders admit nothing.

Innovative - Extraordinary leaders discuss solutions... average leaders discuss problems.

Wise Judgment - Extraordinary leaders ask for help... average leaders make isolated decisions.

Service Minded - Extraordinary leaders seek to be significant... average leaders seek to be successful.

Goal Processing - Extraordinary leaders act on purpose... average leaders act accidentally.

Skill Assessment - Extraordinary leaders leverage their strengths... average leaders defend their weaknesses.

Emotional Maturity - Extraordinary leaders think then do... average leaders do then think.

Fostering Relationships - Extraordinary leaders put relationships before results... average leaders put results before relationships.

Masterful Communication - Extraordinary leaders listen for the sake of others... average leaders listen for the sake of self.

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Masterful Communication: Marshall Goldsmith

I asked at a banking managers conference last week what they felt was the most pressing leadership/management issue they were facing in their banks. The top answer was communication issues. And specifically communication issues when dealing with growth. How do we get new people to speak our language? How do we get the veterans to upgrade their language and vision to the industry's new standards? How do we get people to communicate efficiently across the new size of our corporate landscape?

These are all valid and complicated concerns. I have many thoughts on where to start, but for a more comprehensive look at how to improve corporate communication (which is basically interpersonal communication) I wanted to turn you on to the most recent addition to my leadership library, What Got You Here Won't Get You There. I have been reading and learning from Marshall Goldsmith for a number of years. He used to write the column at the back of Fast Company (as did Seth Godin). If you are experiencing tremendous success, you need to digest this book. If you don't think you need to read this book, you need to read this book.

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Fostering Relationships: The Power of Empathy

A few weeks ago my wife went to the doctor's office for her final visit before having our second daughter last week. The doctor and nurses, Dr. Glass in Edmond, Oklahoma, finished up their examination and was ready to send my wife on her way. They concluded that she was ready to have the baby, but that the soonest she could get into the hospital was still a few days out. My wife's body language said that she was dissapointed by this. She was already a few days past due and was obviously ready to have the baby that moment. The nurses read my wife's body language and found her a spot at another hospital.

As it turned out, she had our second little girl at the first hospital on the later date. However, the nurses' excellent empathy and attention to detail put Ashley's mind at ease and reinforced our belief that Dr. Glass and his staff are not only excellent at their technical skills, but also at their soft skills! Thanks again, team!

It is amazing how simply businesses and organizations could improve their bottom-line if they only spent time improving their employees' people skills.

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Integrity: Coach, I Weigh 160

You have more power in you than you know.

Invest six short minutes and watch this video clip of someone tapping into their full power.

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Innovative: Exceed Expectations

Last week I presented a one-hour "fluff" program for a group of bank managers. Literally, the client's entire expectation of me was to get the students (it was a one-week banking school) to know each other and to start the school off with some fun and interaction. Since almost 98.6% of my keynotes and workshops are fun and interactive, this was not a very difficult expectation to exceed. However, my expectation for myself was to exceed it by providing the group valuable leadership insights both at the program and afterwards via this blog.

This act in and of itself is an example of how to be innovative in the business environ. Take what is expected of you and push outside the envelope. When you force yourself and your team to do that habitually, you will in turn be creative habitually.

Click here for a short, but powerful PDF on creating a corporate environment for innovation...

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Fostering Relationships: The Conversation House

Conversation is a lost art. Particularly holding a conversation with a stranger. If you struggle with this, remember this visual tool for accessing seven discussion points...

1. Think of a house (Where are you from?)


2. Think of a skier on the roof (What are your hobbies?)


3. Image a graduation cap on the skier (Tell me about your education.)


4. There is a briefcase on one ski pole (What about your career/job?)


5. It is a sunny day (Weather)


6. There is a family standing in the lawn (Tell me about your family.)


7. There is a road leading to the horizon (What are your future plans?)

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Masterful Communication: Add Variety to Your Presentation

This video demonstrates how a professor in Kansas teaches thousands of us to communicate a little differently. How can you switch up your next presentation and say it or show it differently?

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Masterful Communication: Active Listening

Many times the most important thing we can give others is our attention. It's called Active Listening. Follow this formula to remain OPEN to others...

O - Open body language (responsiveness)

P - Paraphrasing (repeat their words back to them using your words)

E - Eye contact (we listen with our eyes, not our ears)

N - Not judging (remove as many predetermined perception filters as you can)

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Teaching PLI: PLI Essentials Primer

I had the cool opportunity to present back at my alma mater tonight, Oklahoma State University. I only had 20 minutes at a banquet so I couldn't get through as much content as I wanted to, but the following is what I would have said if I had a full 60-minutes.

If you are new to the PLI Blog, this will also serve as a primer for the structure of Personal Leadership Insight - the ten PLI Essentials...

[The following is structured like this... PLI Essential -> Why your team needs it from you -> Small piece of advice on how to improve your effectiveness in that Essential area.]

• Vision... Clarity... Examine your morning routine
• Integrity... Inspiration... Be Honest
• Innovative... Have a Voice... Have a mechanism to capture ideas
• Wise Judgment... Authenticity... Stay in contact and in spirit with a mentor
• Service Minded... Appreciation... Do something for someone that they can't do on their own
• Goal Processing... Final Scores... If you can do something in under 2 minutes, take care of it now!
• Skill Assessemnt... Placement... Hire people for their strengths, not their experience.
• Emotional Maturty... Optimism... Practice Intelligent Optimism - Recognize challenges, work on solutions. Understand weaknesses, capitalize on strengths. Have many reasons to complain, simply choose not to.
• Fostering Relationships... Belonging... Nurture all three layers of your relationships. Layer 1 is your family and friends. Layer 2 is your peers and casual acquaintances. Layer 3 is people who you know of, but who don't know you.
• Masterful Communication... Clarity... Actively listen to others and give them the gift of your attention.

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Skill Assessment: Building People, not Ships

The PLI Essential of Skill Assessment is not only about understanding and developing your own skills, for leaders it is also about understanding and developing the skills of others. A friend of mine, Jack Myrick, understands how to do this effectively. A few years ago he was a regional supervisor for 6 Sonic Drive-In stores. Everything was going smooth, but in a stretch of about 90 days things tanked. His best employees left and his remaining crew were undermotivated and underperforming. He was working 100 hour weeks and Jack knew something had to change.

So, he sat down and put 5 leadership principles on index cards and worked hard to fulfill their calling every day with his people. Within 6 months, his stores were setting records for sales. Feeling the need to share what he experienced, Jack wrote a leadership parable explaining the 5 leadership principles and the effect they can have on people.

His parable is called Shipbuilder. It is only 112 short pages and is a quick and powerful read! I won't give the 5 parables away, but my favorite line from the book is that the secret to great shipbuilding is to recognize that, as a leader, your job is not to build ships, but to build people!

Click here to get yourself a copy of the Shipbuilder.

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Goal Processing: Are You Stretching Yourself?

This guy didn't get from the chair where he set his goal of climbing K2 to the side of the hill without stretching himself, literally and metaphorically...

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Emotional Maturity: What is Your Motivation?

This blog is about how to use your leadership talents in a meaningful way. In today's cynical world, the most effective leaders strengthen their emotional maturity by placing authentic methods of personal motivation in their life. I was blessed with number three yesterday!!!!!!!

UNBELIEVABLE: I read an article last month that highlighted the results of a research project on happiness. Part of the project was studying whether having children increased or decreased parental happiness. The research results stated that the majority of parents reported a decrease in happiness after having children. I feel personally blessed to be in a situation where I can not even fathom how that can be true. Even though I am fully aware that the reasons are out there, I am not even going to try to articulate how or why those parents came to be in that situation. I'm just going to say this...

Our number one most important leadership efforts reside within our family structure, no matter our professional or personal position in life. Do things right there first and everywhere else second.

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