Get Your Team in Gear

One of the most important jobs of a leader is working hard to get the best performance out of your team. This seems easier for some people than others, but it is always a moving target.  Performance can always improve in big and/or small ways. Our task as leaders is to communicate expectations, help individuals understand where they are today in relation to these goals and then invest time and resources coaching, training, educating and motivating each team member to shrink the gap between the two.

How do we help our team bring their best performance every day? Much of it depends on the type of work, the struggles faced every day, the reward for success, etc.  No matter where your team is headed, the following parts must be in the engine or there is little to zero chance even your best team members will be able to sustain over the long-haul.

Get Your Team in Gear:

1. Help each team member understand how to measure his/her output. Not being able to measure performance is one of the major signs of a horrible job.

2. Communicate your expectations of every input he/she brings to the table:  attitude, work ethic, skills, talents, experience, relationship building, problem solving, creativity, optimism, etc. It is very difficult to know if I'm giving my best when I don't know what "best" means to my boss, supervisor, manager, leader, investors, etc.

3. Meet with each team member on a regular basis (monthly, four times a year, etc.) to discuss goals and performance.  Discuss successes, struggles, sources of struggles, observations, their observations and suggestions for improvement. Call these "employee evaluations" if you'd like. Just don't call them rare.

4. Be ready to have a difficult conversation if you find performance doesn't equal expectations. It is surprising how much productivity is lost just because a boss doesn't want to struggle through having a tough conversation with someone.

5. When you notice accomplishment, communicate it based on how that person prefers.  If you know they enjoy public recognition, do it in a group setting.  If you know they are more private, do it on a one-on-one basis. Recognition for good work is one of the common signs of a great job.

6. Invest resources in helping them grow, professionally and personally. Same here.

7. From time to time, check to make sure each team member feels like they are being able to use their strengths at work.  Even when compensation is high and work is enjoyable to most, when someone is doing work he/she believes doesn't fit their personality or core skill set, this can be a major source of demotivation. We as leaders can't expect someone to give his/her best when his/her best work is not even being asked to be brought to the table.

8. Create experiences where your team can create memories together.  It is amazing how performance improves when there is a strong sense of community, friendship and shared investment.

Get Your Marketing Wheels in Gear

Marketing Questions Your Team Should Be Discussing Regularly:

1. Are we dedicating enough time to creating new marketing ideas?
2. What is a marketing strategy that works better than it seems like it should?
3. How are we deciding who is in our target market?
4. What is our best marketing tool and why?
5. What is our most cost-effective marketing tool?
6. How are we deciding which media outlets to use?
7. How are we capturing and using comments from satisfied customers?
8. How are we measuring the success of marketing strategies?
9. How has our marketing changed over the past few years?
10. What is the source of our largest frustration related to marketing?
11. What company or organization has the best (coolest, most creative, most cost-effective, etc.) marketing ideas?  Why?
12. What marketing tool or strategy do we need to stop using?

Marketing Ideas to Consider:

• All great marketing starts with a great product or service to market.  Be great.
• Value people first, excellent work second, everything else third.
• Understand the most influential drivers that bring business in, bring business back and drive business away.
• Stay connected with and bring surprise value to your "Torchbearer 23 List" - 23 contacts that carry the torch for you and/or your business. (Read more about Torchbearers below.)  Never ask them for anything, though.  Just stay connected and serve his/her needs when you can.
• Learn where, when and how to start customer relationships.
• Learn where, when and how your competition is starting customer relationships.
• Make the most of your raving fans.
• Foster relationships that will lead to piggy-back, plan B, or other ways to provide value-added options for new customers.
• Create brainstorming moments with your team: Assign an unbiased discussion leader, capture everything, no filters, no initial judgments, pick one or two ideas to try on at low-cost. 

Brainstorming Rules:

• Schedule periodic brainstorming sessions to keep a steady flow of ideas flowing.
• Have an unbiased discussion leader who is in charge of keeping the discussion going.
• Capture everything.  Flip-chart ideas in the moment.  Take a picture of each one when the session is over and save those images for later.
• No filtering of ideas - no matter the cost, the legality, the chance of success, etc.  
• Keep initial judgments quiet.  There will be a time to give pros and cons.  A brainstorming session is not that time.
• At the end of the session, pick a few low to no-cost ideas and try them on.  Also, pick a few that will require resources to implement and make sure those ideas live to be discussed another day.

A Torchbearer:

1. Thirsty for helping company/organization grow.
2. Owns a strong allegiance.
3. Values and fosters relationships.
4. Gains part of identity from organization.
5. Clearly understands his/her role.
6. Knows and believes in company/organization's core values.
7. Speaks positively about the organization, it's leadership and it's members.

These ideas were shared as part one of a three-part series of business development seminars I presented for the BBB Serving Central Oklahoma on May 20, 2015.  Learn more about the series and value the BBB can bring to your business here.

Fostering Relationships: What Clicks Reveal About Human Nature

Clicks (using this spelling instead of cliques) aren't bad. Using clicks as leverage for negative peer pressure is. Clicks exist in schools and businesses for some very basic reasons and leaders within these groups should learn how to leverage them for good.

Why do clicks exist?

1. We are pack-minded people. We desire to be around people who think like us, dress like us and believe in the same things we do.

2. We like to know the rules and have those we hang out with know (and follow) them also. It gives a sense of grounded-ness.

3. We defend what is ours. Clicks define who we are. They hold truths about the individuals within them. If we will fight and defend anything it is our beliefs and our identity.

4. We fear the unknown. This is the source of many "click-battles". If I'm operating from a known set of behaviors, attitudes and beliefs, when I come across someone who doesn't operate from the same set of rules, there is a sense of mystery about what that person or group will do or say. This is retaliated against often in hostile, negative and even violent ways.

Leaders operating within a click need to understand these basics of human nature and discover ways to work effectively within them. Following are a few ideas on how to do that.

1. Operate from a home base of understanding and curiosity. Learn what makes them click (pun intended) and be ok with it.

2. Educate your click on how to overcome fear-based and negative tendencies. You can rarely help people lose these as an initial reaction to opposing or different clicks, but you can help your crew understand the value of not taking negative action on these tendencies.

3. Stick to your values and beliefs, but work to not belittle the values and beliefs of others. Different does not always equal wrong.

4. Work to educate other clicks on the positive reasons why your click exists and why you hold true to your ways. However, don't expect them to agree with you or change their ways. There is much truth to the approach of "agreeing to disagree".

Fostering Relationships: Five Essential Skills

We invested fully this weekend with 500+ young leaders working on one thing only - helping them to understand how to be better at relationships. We covered many topics and worked on many areas. However, the following five lessons are the relationship techniques that will stick to their ribs for many days to come.

Five Essential Relationship Skills

1. Don't make people fight for your time and attention. Quickly and easily put your focus on others. When they share something with you, be impressed, encourage them, lift them up, etc. Don't fall into any of these three categories: Know It All, Always Better Than Others, or Indifferent About Others.

2. Talk up about others not in the room. Stephen Covey says this is one of the most powerful way to build trust with people in the room. A foundation of trust is an essential building block for healthy relationships.

3. Follow-through. People who stick to commitments are always in high-demand. Learn to say yes only to those meetings, projects and commitments that you are fairly sure you can keep. I'd rather you say no to me early than no to me late.

4. Share smiles with many. Share frustrations with one. People who are great at relationships understand this principle. Look for, celebrate, cultivate and share the good spaces in life. When you have gripes, whines, complaints, etc., share them with your closest people only. That's one of the responsibilities of being a close family member or friend. We are called to be the proverbial shoulder.

5. Forgive first. This last one is the heaviest. True forgiveness is never earned. It is given freely with heroic effort. If you have someone who has broke trust with you in any way and you are waiting for them to earn your forgiveness, you will be waiting forever. Forgiveness only works truly when you decide to pay the debt for them and take that burden off your heart. It's one of the rarest and most powerful relationship acts.

You can tell the running theme here is taking personal responsibility for the condition of your relationships. This is how any great team works - each individual investing fully and personally working hard to make it great. As your relationships go, so goes your quality of life. Make them great.

Fostering Relationships: A Quick Study in Teamwork

The following five questions/answers contain the top lessons I teach audiences about effective teamwork. Cross-reference these with your life and examine how you can improve the positive contributions you make to your teams (family, friends, work, school, etc.)

Why is becoming an effective team player important?

1. Life is a team sport.
2. When our teams are good, life is good.
3. People need great people-people around them to give their best.

What is the definition of effective teamwork?

Effective teamwork occurs when each individual clearly understands how their core strength plays a valuable role in the team accomplishing its shared goals.

What are the common traits of great teams?

1. A trusted leader.
2. An agreed upon goal.
3. An agreed upon decision-making system.
4. The creation and revisiting of big memories.
5. Each individual engaging a core strength.

What are the common traits of great team members?

1. Intensely focused on their work, trusts others, are trustworthy and therefore creates an environment where there is low drama and high trust.
2. Optimistic and create the impossible by focusing on solutions and the positive.
3. Identify, put into action and develop habits that create an environment of encouragement, excellence and high expectatIons.
4. Skilled at maximizing change and solving problems by seeing things differently and getting to the true core of challenges.

How can you help team mates give their best?

• L.E.A.D. - Look for, Encourage, Appreciate and Draw out the best of others. How most people treat you is based on who you are to them, the environment your interactions are in & how you treat them. Make them good.
• Be a lover of what other people are doing. Be Interested. Make someone else feel more important than they think they are and you instantly become more important to them.
• Build up others when they aren't around. Stephen Covey said, "A great way to build trust with those in the room is to talk up those not in the room."

Posted with Blogsy

Fostering Relationships: The Value of Team Bonding

Pop Quiz: Which method of communication most effectively conveys every aspect of a message?

A. Face-to-Face
B. Phone Call
C. Email
D. Text Message

The answer, of course, is A. Face-to-face communication is the most effective method for delivering and responding to every element of a message: words, context, body language, emotional content, etc. As you move down the line from face-to-face to phone call to email to text message, the complexity of the message is filtered because the amount of information given and received diminishes. 

This dynamic is pretty well-known; even though many people do not have the willingness or understanding to apply the proper medium to the right message.  However, this communication lesson actually serves as the best explanation for the value of team bonding. Here is a quick overview:

Text Message = Working on a project with someone you've never met.
Text messages are great at conveying quick information, but are ineffective at conveying tone and meaning. Similarly, it is difficult to work efficiently with someone you've never met because all you know about them is right-now information. Therefore, you have to take everything at face value and tasks can take longer because everything has to spelled out and clearly explained.  Assumptions are not always a bad thing, but they are almost always a bad tactic when you have no prior knowledge of the other person's intentions, actions or behaviors.

Email = Working with a new team member.
Email is the preferred "quick" and "traceable" method of communication in the workplace. It is efficient to a point. Everyone has had that moment five-minutes into drafting an email when you hit delete and then just call the person because you realize it is faster. Email is clear to a point also because tone is not always easy (or front of mind) to explain. When a new team member arrives (especially if the team is already robust) many people will simply not take the time to explain tone or context to the "newbies" and just skip past that step.  Therefore, the complexity of the messages are left to assumption by the new team member. This creates miscommunication, confusion and, in many cases, no clear person to blame.

Phone Call = Working on a team with someone you know professionally, but have never learned anything about personally.
Phone calls are many times just as useful as face-to-face in terms of fully conveying the message at hand. However, they are not quite as good. One of the major differences is what choosing the medium conveys.  If you have the option of meeting face-to-face or over-the-phone with me and you choose phone, it does place a lower value on the interaction; except in all the cases where the context is just a quick chat. This same dynamic works with office relationships. If you don't take the time to get to know me or learn more about me, I don't feel a sense of investment in the relationship from you (and vice-versa). This can create a working relationship that is not as powerful and robust as possible.

Face-to-Face = Working on a team with someone you know both professionally and personally.
The most effective medium for delivering and receiving the complexity of a message is face-to-face. I can read your body language. I can see your tone.  I can see, not just hear, how you are responding to me.  It is efficient, effective and clear (as long as the words are clear). This is the perfect metaphor and support for the value of team bonding.  When two people take time to learn more than just surface level knowledge about each other, they are better equipped to read intention, context, purpose, understanding, etc. Only a small percentage of the messages we send every day are conveyed in our words. The vast majority of the message exists in our body language, tone, assumed intent, etc. When teams invest time in bonding and understanding how each other ticks, these larger messages are more clearly delivered and more appropriately received.

Tweet the lines in italics - @pli_leadership

Fostering Relationships: How To Become a Master Ninja Relationship Coordinator

I had the wonderful pleasure of speaking once again at the St. Jude Collegiate Leadership Seminar this weekend in Memphis. The conference is designed to educate and inspire college students and advisers across the country who raise money on their campuses for St. Jude. The purpose of my workshop to the advisers was to give insights on how to strengthen relationships across campus. Following are the main lessons; they are applicable on and off of college campuses.

1. Own it. Take responsibility for the condition of the relationships you have with persons of influence on campus.

2. Make two lists - Friends (people who support your work on campus) and Future Friends (people who either don't support your work or don't actively know you or your work). The goal is to turn Friends into Raving Fans and to turn Future Friends into Friends.

3. Work hard to change the way you view the power hierarchy on your campus. Especially those views that you have that are holding you back from moving forward with certain requests or relationships. A step in the right direction is added the words "Right Now" to your vocabulary. Instead of saying, "The athletic department won't work us," say, "The athletic department won't work us Right Now."

4. L.E.A.D. - Look for, Encourage, Appreciate and Draw out the best of others. How most people treat you is based on who you are to them, the environment your interactions are in & how you treat them. Make them good. (Tweet that - @pli_leadership) Take your Friends and Future Friends lists and turn them into a Campus Water Well Book - a place where you keep track of relationship activity you are involved in.

5. Be a lover of what other people are doing on campus. Be Interested. Make someone else feel more important than they think they are and you instantly become more important to them. (Tweet that - @pli_leadership)

6. Build up others when they aren't around. Stephen Covey said, "A great way to build trust with those in the room is to talk up about those not in the room." Example - Use we, never us and them. Master Ninja Level Relationship Coordinators do not have the luxury of having a loose tongue. (Tweet that - @pli_leadership)

7. Be Intentional. Foster a relationship weekly or bi-weekly with at least one person in each of the areas of campus that directly impact your work. Lunches, coffee, share resources, etc.

8. Piggy-Backing. Investigate how your core work can help another department's core mission also and do more cooperative activities.

9. What comes to mind when people hear your name/office/projects? What habits do you have that are creating or blocking the pattern of others seeing you as a Master Ninja Relationship Coordinator?

Action Steps

- Develop or sharpen your Campus Water Well Book.

- Discover actions you need to start or change or increase.

- Start now. Take action. Email. Call. Schedule.

- Identify what's holding you back from making certain calls to Future Friends.

- Get clear on what other people are saying about you/your department/your work.

- Think of yourself as a Master Ninja Relationship Coordinator. Be self-aware and own this title.

Posted with Blogsy

Fostering Relationships: Parent = Leader

 

 

Parents are some of the most influential leaders on the planet. Following are four key behaviors of parents who make the most of this influence and are creating children ready for the best of times and the worst of times.

1. Secretly pay the debt for your children.

My wife is in the middle of a bible study that contains a key lesson of Christian leaders: we must pay the debt for others who are either not strong enough to handle it on their own or who can't pay it. We must unselfishly act with resolve, integrity and responsibility. Effective parents do this for their children. The key here is to do it "secretly" without ever expecting your children to earn it. They deserve it because they are in your care. You must be strong for them and never use these acts as a reward for good behavior. This creates a home environment filled with unconditional love and support.

2. Be filled with a genuine desire to learn and love their ways.

The generational difference can create barriers. It can block understanding, compassion and a sense of community in the home. Effective parents tear down these barriers each time they seek to see life through their children's eyes. A simple example is cell phones. Young people use their phones (via text messages, social media, photos, etc.) to create real community and connections with their friends. Embrace this. Set rules and help them understand the dangers, but be a team player in this area (and many others) with your children.

3. Create a home where mistakes are cherished, celebrated and communicated.

My PLI co-leader Ryan Underwood and his wife have a painting in their home that says something similar to this. It serves as a visual reminder every day that life is full of twists and turns and they will talk, learn and grow together as a family through them. Effective parents help their children understand that the best life does not mean a mistake-free life. The best life is created by responding positively in the face of mistakes. Help your children feel safe to risk big, try new things, and be comfortable with sharing their good days and bad days with you.

4. Time is where families grow.

Effective parents create moments in their day regularly where the focus is just on being together as a family. Do things that involve conversation, being present with one another and just enjoying each other's company. This creates a stack of moments that lead to understanding, connections and memories children can lean on for strength when the lonely times come that every young person experiences.

Parenting is tough for many reasons; stress, commitments, work, troubles, etc. However, it is primarily tough because it is the textbook definition of leadership. And leadership is difficult. Because it matters. Work hard to be a leader for your children. One that is inspiring, motivating and worthy of their unwavering trust and devotion.

Fostering Relationships: Leadership Principles for Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations are just about as fun as a root canal, but they are way easier than the pain of not getting the needed root canal. Effective leaders make difficult conversations happen because they are necessary for growth, excellence and the long-term health of an organization or team. Here is a short list of difficult conversations that happen in the workplace:

• Explaining why someone is not getting a promotion.
• Confronting repeating unacceptable behavior.
• Providing honest feedback on poor performance.
• Respectfully challenging a colleague or customer.
• Holding someone accountable for their output.
• Sharing tough decision outcomes.
• Delegating responsibility.
• Discussing a taboo issue like hygiene or dress.
• Thoughtfully saying no.
• Addressing opportunities for improvement.
• Explaining options in the face of adversity.

So, why don't these conversations happen? A big reason is because, not only are the conversations challenging, but the skills needed to make them happen successfully are also inherently challenging. The really important skills here fall in the leadership category. The following five leadership principles (which can be applied to many more areas than just difficult conversations) will help you shape your thinking, your approach and your execution of the next difficult conversation you need to have with someone.

Leadership Principle One: Others First. Self Second.

• Be committed to seeing the other person succeed.
• Focus on the behavior or necessary changes, not the person.
• Be entirely focused on the conversation and the other person. Remove distractions.
• Arrange for a private setting.
• Speak only for yourself, not on behalf of people not in the room.

Leadership Principle Two: Difficult is Not an Excuse to Delay.

• We do more damage to others by not saying what needs to be said.
• The process of the conversation might not be pleasant or positive, but the end result can be.

Leadership Principle Three: An Adaptive Approach is the Only Approach.

• Honesty must be tempered with compassion and tact.
• Make decisions on what to say intellectually, not emotionally.

Ask yourself these questions beforehand to prepare:

• How will I be helping this person?
• Will telling them this make them better in the long run?
• Why am I delaying telling them this?
• If I was in their position, would I prefer to know?
• How will they react? How do I know?
• Will they accept advice from me?

Leadership Principle Four: Find the Common Ground Quickly and Build From There.

• Find something early on that you both can agree on.
• Get them saying yes.
• Be preemptive by fostering relationships with people.

Leadership Principle Five: Goals and Values Guide Action.

• Be clear on the best possible outcome.
• Be specific with discussion items, needed changes, etc.
• Be clear on what company or organization value or belief is driving the need for the conversation.

Skill Assessment: The "Ready to Serve" Elected Student Leader

Hundreds of our clients are student organizations.  Places where young leaders learn the joys and discomforts of "being in charge". If you are a student leader, think deeply about how your actions and thoughts align with the follow two keys to success and my specific tips for each.  If you have direct influence over a student leader, please share these.

1. There is a difference between the skills it takes to get elected and the skills it takes to serve.  Go into your year of service with a growth mindset.  Be open to coaching and sharpening of your skills.  You will receive instruction you will need this year and that you can use for a lifetime.  Don't miss it.

Take notes, ask for specific feedback, don't make excuses, work to improve, mirror success you see around you, take responsibility, be honest with your weaknesses, be humble with your strengths.

2. A team of talented leaders does not make a talented team; that takes a team of talented team-focused leaders.  Serve each other just as passionately and purposefully as you serve the members.  Leaders leading leaders is difficult because of big personalities, people not afraid to speak their mind, people used to getting their way, etc.  This can lead to disagreements, arguments and hurt feelings.  Just know those are growing pains to success.  Work through them, not around them.  If you contribute positively to your team mates, your "team" will last much longer than one year. 

Don't try to earn the approval or attention of your team - give yours generously to them first, celebrate each other's success, encourage publicly, say thank you, listen actively, spend time together even when you don't have to, be nice, give constructive comments in private, sacrifice for each other, build your team mates up with your words when they aren't around, randomly call to say hi, say I'm sorry, invest time really getting to know them.

Good luck and let us know how we can help!

Fostering Relationships: What is Your Texture?

What is the texture of your leadership style?  Is it abrasive - motivating people through fear, force and manipulation?  Or is it smooth - leading others with understanding, forgiveness and empathy?

Two big questions to consider here:

1. Do you know your style? If the answer is no, find out. Get feedback from the people you lead. Feedback is the grading system for professionals, especially leaders.

2. Is your texture too extreme one way or the other? You need to be yourself, but this need must not trump your attention to being flexible in how you deal with others. Think of your leadership style like sandpaper.  Each type of sandpaper performs basically the same function, but you wouldn't use a coarse paper on a delicate surface or on a job that doesn't require that much friction.  Your leadership style should be just as flexible and adaptable.

General: Activities for your Leadership Class Series (Part 3)

This is the third post in a new series sharing many of our favorite leadership activities we do with our audience members across the nation. Each activity has a proven track record since we actually present at over 300 conferences, retreats, school assemblies and corporate events every year and have for the past 20 years.  Enjoy and feel free to share via Facebook, Twitter or email with your network of friends, teachers, trainers, speakers or absolute complete strangers!  (We are @pli_leadership on Twitter.)


Balloon Toss

PLI Essential – Fostering Relationships, Wise Judgment, Goal Processing

Objective – For each team to keep as many balloons off the ground as possible

Time Needed – From 45 - 60 minutes

Material Needed – 12” round Balloons, Trash Sacks

Best Case Scenario – At least a few teams of 8 people and room to play

When not to do it – If there isn’t any floor space to work with

Debrief Possibilities – This activity teaches how to work with others, how to overcome challenges, how to recognize and work with human behavior patterns, how to communicate, how to plan strategically, and to not be satisfied with status quo

Step-by-Step Instructions

1. Each team of 8 gets 1 sack of balloons (3 more balloons than people in the group, i.e. if there are 8 people in the group they will need 11 balloons) and 1 trash sack.

2. Each person must put their strongest hand behind their back and they cannot use it at any time during the activity (except for the feeder).

3. Each team selects a feeder.  The feeder holds the trash sack.

4.Blow up all the balloons and put them in the trash sack.

5.The team needs to figure out how they are going to keep the balloons off the ground by only tapping or nudging them.

6.The feeder will take a balloon out of the sack and feed it to the team at 10-second intervals.

7.Once a balloon touches the ground, the team must sit down and try again after all teams have been seated and the activity leader re-starts everyone. 

8.This process can continue as long as time allows or until the teams have completed the task.

One of our most popular curriculum pieces is The Activator.  It contains this activity, as well as 49 other effective leadership activities!

Purchase Activator Here

General: Activities for your Leadership Class Series (Part 2)

This is the second post in a new series sharing many of our favorite leadership activities we do with our audience members across the nation. Each activity has a proven track record since we actually present at over 300 conferences, retreats, school assemblies and corporate events every year and have for the past 20 years.  Enjoy and feel free to share via Facebook, Twitter or email with your network of friends, teachers, trainers, speakers or absolute complete strangers!  (We are @pli_leadership on Twitter.)

Super Shaper

PLI Essential – Integrity, Innovativeness, Fostering Relationships, Goal Processing

Objective – For each team to design all of the shapes using only their bodies

Time Needed – 20-30 minutes

Material Needed – List of possible shapes, Music

When not to do it – When the students aren’t in teams

Debrief Possibilities – This activity is primarily just a fun roller-coaster ride for the students, but it does speak to their integrity in playing the game since it is so hectic, it is very easy for the students to cut corners and not get noticed.

Step-by-Step Instructions

1. Have students in a team pick one runner and then sit in a tight circle on the floor.

2. Explain the rules: When the activity starts (music starts) each runner will come to the activity leader and receive their first shape.

3. The runner will go back to the team and tell them the shape.  The team must make the shape, using only there bodies and hold that position for 10 seconds.

4. After the 10 seconds is up, the runner will come back to the leader, tell the leader the shape they just made and receive their next shape…repeat as many times as desired.

Shape Examples

Square
Christmas tree
Barn
Stop sign
Airplane
Horse
Circle
Computer
Rectangle

One of our most popular curriculum pieces is The Activator.  It contains this activity, as well as 49 other effective leadership activities!

Purchase Activator Here

General: Activities for your Leadership Class Series (Part 1)

This is the first post in a new series sharing many of our favorite leadership activities we do with our audience members across the nation. Each activity has a proven track record since we actually present at over 300 conferences, retreats, school assemblies and corporate events every year and have for the past 20 years.  Enjoy and feel free to share via Facebook, Twitter or email with your network of friends, teachers, trainers, speakers or absolute complete strangers!  (We are @pli_leadership on Twitter.)


Clumps

PLI Essential – Fostering Relationships

Objective – To get into the right clump

Time Needed – 10-20 minutes

Best Case Scenario – An open area with 15 – 100 students

Debrief Possible – It teaches how people are different in many regards and how we shouldn’t judge people on their differences.  We should instead recognize and appreciate differences and find points of similarity to create mutual interests, points of conversation and friendship building blocks.

Step-by-Step Instructions

1. Everyone gets up in the open area.

2. The point of the game is to get in a clump.

3. A clump is a circle of people with their arms interlocked.

4. Participants know how to clump up based on the “descriptor” the activity leader gives.

5. Participants know which clump to get into based on communicating with others to find people that are like them.

6. For example, when the activity leader yells out eye color, all the blue eyes get in a clump, all the green eyes, brown eyes, etc.

7. There cannot be “split clumps.”  For example, if shoe size is the descriptor, all the 10’s have to be together, all the 9’s, etc.  There cannot be two clumps of 6’s or two clumps of 8’s, etc.

8. Once all the clumps have been formed, the activity leader will give another descriptor.

9. Numbers can also be used to form the clumps instead of descriptors.  The activity leader can say 5 and everyone gets in clumps of 5 people.

10. To take the game one step further, once the clumps are made, have everyone go around and briefly introduce themselves to the other people in their clump.  The brief intros can be name, hometown, and favorite hobby.

11. Once the leader feels like the game has gone long enough, a great way to end it is to have everyone get in one big clump (by using the descriptor of “who is here today”).  Once they are in one big circle, the leader can stand in the middle and talk about how everyone is different, but there are certain points of similarity.  Point out the fact that everyone in the room has what it takes to be a positive leader.  This is also a good time to preview what will happen next, as the leader will have their attention.

12. To add an element of competition to this game, have everyone get in a clump before the leader says Stop.  All the people who are not in a clump or are in an illegal clump (like a split clump) have to sit down.  So, the leader would say get in clumps by your age.  Then say go, let them scramble, and then say stop.  Everyone not in a clump has to sit down.  Keep going until the group has been narrowed down to 3 or 4. 

One of our most popular curriculum pieces is The Activator.  It contains this activity, as well as 49 other effective leadership activities!

Purchase Activator Here

Fostering Relationships: The Biggest Team Mistake Leaders Make

The biggest team mistake leaders make is not delegating work properly.  This poor leadership tactic is also known as micro-managing or helicoptering.  It ranks as the largest team mistake for these seven reasons:

1. It has a large negative impact on quality of work, team culture and individual motivation. 
2. It is very common. Letting go and letting the team is not easy for many leaders. It requires a complex series of personal, strategic, team and repetitive efforts.
3. The reason we have teams is because there is too much work for one person to do or because the work requires specialized talents. A leader trying to do all the work on their own goes directly against the reason the team exists in the first place.
4. Team members need to feel valuable and needed. When their leader doesn't delegate work properly it robs them of this basic desire.
5. Since a young age we have wanted autonomy; to feel like we can "do it on our own." This is a driving force of leaders being dictators.  This is also why leaders must let go and not micro-manage the team. Your team needs you to train well, correct when needed, but let them do the work on their own.
6. The best ideas and highest quality work never materialize because the dictator leader is holding everyone and everything back due to their need for control.

The old parenting quote (that is applicable to the work place also) goes, "If you don't let me help when I'm not needed, then I won't want to help when I am needed." This quote sums up nicely the internal workings of team members regarding their need to engage with the team.  So, why do so many leaders fall prey to this poor leadership approach?  Here a few of the most common:

• Not trusting team members.
• Not understanding that the enemy of excellence is perfection.  
• Not letting team members try/fail/learn/re-try.
• Hold an inflated sense of self-esteem.
• Think that just because you can do something means you should do it (instead of letting your team do it.)
• Have been burned in the past and are super-imposing past mistakes of others on current team members.
• Haven't invested the time or resources to fully train the team.
• Are blind to the negative impact of their behaviors (because many of them are unseen, at least initially.)

If you recognize any of these patterns in your behavior or thoughts, it is time to change. Teams work best when five things happen - two of the most important are that the team leader is trusted and the team members are engaging their core strengths to do meaningful work.  Running your team like a dictator defeats both of these.  Make the change and you will see tremendous positive results.

Fostering Relationships: What Harley Riders can Teach us About Motivation

There are over one million loyal Harley Davidson motorcycle riders stretching from coast to coast.  These people are not just customers, they are fanatics.  I have a friend who waited 8 months for her special order "Hog". This product is the genesis for a family of people who ultimately only have one thing in common - they absolutely love cruising the open highway on their Softail, Dyna, Sportster, Touring or VRSC Harley Davidson motorcycle.

So, what is it about this bike that makes it such a communal product?  More importantly, what lessons can leaders glean from this commercial phenom to help their product, company, team, etc. produce such rabid loyalty?  The following seven qualities of the Harley experience not only give insight to why Hog lovers act like they do, but it also digs deeper into core human needs that just might transfer over to your world and help you understand how to inspire a stronger and more authentic bond with your people.

Why riders love their Harleys:

• Easily recognizable. We all have a need to belong; to connect with other humans. A motorcycle is a visual product. When one rider sees another rider on a Harley, they instantly cut through the chatter and know they can connect.

• Not everyone can or wants to do it.  A Harley Davidson can cost anywhere from $9,000 to $35,000.  They aren't cheap.  And motorcycles obviously are not for everyone.  This taps into our desire to be involved with something rather elite, private, VIPish. When you ride a Harley, you are a member of a club.

• There's a rebel feel to it.  Ever since rules were invented, humans were breaking them.  This rebel banner flies on Harleys every day.  The mild-mannered CPA by weekday suits up in black leather and a red bandana and speeds through the weekend.  This sense of collective rule-breaking or rule-bending unites riders in a very unspoken way. Movies have even immoralized this act.  The Wild Ones with Marlon Brando.  Hells Angels on Wheels with Jack Nicholson.  And Arnold Schwarzenegger as The Terminator.  

• Different types of people come together. We have a need to belong.  We also have a need to bring people together.  Even though Harley riders enjoy their "superiority" over other bikes, they also relish their inclusiveness.  A pack of Hogs cruising down the road is probably an eclectic group of doctors, lawyers, mechanics, bankers, etc.  It does help grease the wheels of your growth when literally the only qualification needed for acceptance is the machine you are riding.

• Involves travel. We are nomads at heart. We love to travel.  When you are on the back of a Harley speeding down the highway, you have a feeling of freedom and movement that you can't get any other way. It's more intimate and exhilarating than any other form of transportation.  

• Involves masks. Especially those riders who really only have their Harleys for weekend rides or special trips, you can become someone else on a Harley.  Its all suits and ties during the week and then its leather and boots on the weekends.  Humans have a desire for anonymity. This desire is fulfilled to a certain extent on the back of a Hog. 

• Recognized as a cool group.  Harley riders think Harleys are cool and so do a ton of other people.  When you own a Harley, you are in the cool kids club.  Everyone wanted to picked first in dodgeball in grade school.  Everyone wanted to have a great date to the prom.  Everyone wants to be involved in some type of cool group even as adults. It helps shape, define and express our identity.

If your staff, team members, customers and/or volunteers are under-motivated, try cross pollinating this list with your set-up. If you aren't providing opportunities for travel, risk-taking, anonymity, elite status, inclusiveness, etc. then you shouldn't be surprised that you aren't creating loyal fans.

Fostering Relationships: Motivate the V.I.P. in Others

To truly motivate someone, you need to learn about the V.I.P. in them...

Values + Interests + Personality

Then you design a motivation plan for them based on who they are. Essentially you are figuring out which "carrot" will work for them. This puts the individual at the center of your approach instead of the desired outcome or your perception of the individual. It is challenging and time-consuming if you have a large team, but it is time well spent.

Here are a few other posts with more motivation techniques:

http://pliblog.yournextspeaker.com/2007/03/emotional-maturity-inside-out.html

http://pliblog.yournextspeaker.com/2009/03/fostering-relationships-how-to-motivate.html

http://pliblog.yournextspeaker.com/2009/07/motivate-with-direction.html

http://pliblog.yournextspeaker.com/2007/06/skill-assessment-understanding.html

http://pliblog.yournextspeaker.com/2007/01/fostering-relationships-light-match.html

http://pliblog.yournextspeaker.com/2008/06/skill-assessment-doers-throughers-and.html

Good luck!

Fostering Relationships: Watering Dirt

Anyone who has ever tried to motivate someone has experienced this struggle...

"Are we just watering dirt?"

I.e. - can we really do anything, say anything, offer any incentive that will nurture growth in this person or are we just wasting valuable resources?

It is a difficult and frustrating situation to be in. One that causes you to second guess your abilities, your strategies and ultimately your decision to have that person on the team.

When you find yourself in this position, talk through the following points:

1. Everyone has a price. You probably need to change the currency you are using with that person. Is she motivated by money, position, prestige, responsibility, autonomy, appreciation, social status, etc.? Find what works for her that also aligns with what you can give and give it.

2. Everyone needs their best inspired out of them. Even the most cynical person responds to words and acts of encouragement, appreciation and thanks. Some will never tell you, but this doesn't change the fact that it works.

3. Everyone is self-motivated. At the end of the day, people must move on their own. They will also do it on their own timeline. You can mandate her actions, but you can not mandate her BEST actions. (BEST - Better Every Single Time - Source: Kelly Barnes)

4. Everyone needs someone to believe in them more than they do. Sometimes it's a race to see who will give up first. If you throw in the towel before she does, you might miss something special. Give her your best and see what happens.

5. Everyone needs honesty from their leaders. Once you do all you can, if she is still not showing progress or living up to clear expectations, it is time to let her go. This could be just what she needs to make a change. Wake-up calls happen in life and serve as opportunities to see how our actions are pulling us down instead of lifting us up. If you care about her, be honest. Don't pass the buck or let her ignore what everyone can see except for her.

When done correctly and with class and spirit, these concepts will show you it was more than dirt you were watering - an unseen seed was waiting for you to help it grow.

Fostering Relationships: Share Vs. Spend

Language has a power we sometimes forget. Particularly when it comes to how we label things. A perfect example is saying that you are "spending time" with someone. This label puts the focus on the time instead of the person. Additionally, it almost has a negative connotation - kind of an "I am losing something" feel.

Instead of saying that you are "spending time", try using the words "I am sharing time with someone." This sharing word brings with it a sense of community, friendship, giving and receiving, etc. It also puts the focus of the activity more on the exchange of words, thoughts, opinions, experiences, etc. and less on the minutes spent.

Words make a difference. Not only those you choose to say/type/text to others, but also those you choose to say to yourself. Choose wisely.

Now go share some time with someone.

What are the Common Traits of Highly Effective Teams?

Effective teamwork occurs when each individual clearly understands how their core strength plays a valuable role in the team accomplishing its shared goals.

Therefore, to identify the traits of highly effective teams, you need to identify commonalities of highly effective team members. There are four...

1. High performing team members are intensely focused on their work, trusts others, are trustworthy and therefore creates an environment where there is low drama and high trust.

2. High performing team members are optimistic and create the impossible by focusing on solutions and the positive.

3. High performing team members identify, put into action and develop habits that create an environment of encouragement, excellence and high expectations.

4. High performing team members are skilled at maximizing change and solving problems by seeing things differently and getting to the true core of challenges.