Emotional Maturity: Drama Trauma

If you are like most people, you know someone who always has to have drama in their life. It is almost like their world isn't complete unless someone is after them, someone doesn't like them, or something is wrong. They constantly live with a bad case of drama trauma and it is contagious.

Expert leaders understand that drama trauma negatively impacts their ability to create value and growth and they work hard to maturely deal with their emotions.

What creates drama trauma?

Drama Trauma can overtake any person who is self-focused. This "ME-ism" creates an emotional vacuum where the person becomes overly sensitive to everything. Their self-focus makes them over-analyze every word said and every move made by others, while assuming all of those words and actions have something to do with them.

Poor decision-making creates just as much drama trauma as Me-ism. Once someone breaks trust with others, it is very difficult for them to trust anyone (including themselves - adding to the drama.)

How do you get rid of drama trauma?

Volunteer. Do random acts of kindness. Take up a hobby that is team-related. Get involved in a meaningful and healthy relationship. Do anything you can to spend a good majority of your time thinking of something other than yourself and your problems.

Learn how to make better choices by watching and learning others who have learned to do so. Say I'm sorry and recover trust when you do make a bad decision. No one is perfect, but plenty of people are too selfish to say I'm sorry.

Expert leaders know how to gingerly diffuse the impact of drama trauma.

How do you effectively deal with other's drama trauma?

This is determined by your relationship with the person. If you are a person of formal influence over them (coach, manager, parent, sibling, etc.), you need to engage in the difficult conversation of helping them recognize how their drama is hurting the people and situations around them. Make it about their behavior though and not about them personally. Also, before you have that conversation, make certain you have some identified ways in which you are prepared to help them deal with and overcome their trauma. However, wait for them to ask for help. Timing is everything in difficult conversations.

If you are not in a formal influence position (horizontal peer, acquaintance, etc.), your task is to simply not be influenced by their drama trauma. Don't play their games and try not to feed their drama by engaging in gossip, assumptive discussions, etc. Also, don't be afraid to help them see the "real situation" (if you are in the know.) People with drama trauma are constantly creating situations, arguments and disagreements out of thin air.

Processing Questions for PLI Curriculum Teachers/Trainers:

1. When was a time that you noticed an example of Drama Trauma?

2. Who is someone that is very good at eliminating drama trauma?