We are all born with others trusting us. The human baby is the international symbol of trust, kindness and innocence.
At some moment, that trust is switched off. It is similar to the Hasbro® game of Jinga. We build a tower of trust blocks. We then begin a precarious process of taking the blocks out (breaking trust with others) and placing them back on top (trying to rebuild that trust). We feel like we are succeeding, but in reality we are breaking down the integrity of our trust tower and if this pattern continues it will fall and the rebuilding process will be long and arduous.
Effective leaders understand the power of developing the correct patterns in life that serve to maintain their tower as is and they avoid the process of taking out and replacing trust blocks. They keep their blocks in place. If and when trust is diluted or damaged, they take the time to very carefully put the block right back in place. It takes time. It takes focus. But it is worth it.
An example is the pattern of Stop, Drop and ROLLL....
Stop... When you recognize that trust has been diluted or damaged, stop what you are doing and respond to it.
Drop... Drop your pride, drop your emotion (very difficult to do) and drop any old negative patterns that you know will prevent you from getting to the ROLLL.
Respect the other person first. When trust has been damaged, you need to focus on the person involved, not the process. Show them you recognize you were wrong. Apologize. Be humble. Ask their opinion on the situation and deal with the circumstances second. Deal with the relationship first.
Open the dialogue with seeking to understand the other person’s position first. Then work to help them understand your position and interests second.
Listen Like a Leader. After the dialogue has begun, your task is to listen like a leader. Effective leaders listen intently, actively, purposefully, and openly. They don’t just wait to talk. They purposefully listen.